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darkstar
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230
Port Richey, Fl, USA

0 posted 2000-10-21 10:27 PM


Too Far Gone

Darkness, blackness, emptiness
Try to fill it
Gone too far this time
Can’t turn back
Make sense of madness
Sanity hanging by a thread
Cut
Darkness, blackness, emptiness
Too far gone
Tried to turn back
Mommy’s slap
Daddy’s taunt
“you’re too fat”
love is what I want
need
none
gone
darkness, blackness, emptiness
three words trying to describe the
nothingness
void
black hole inside
all the way gone
can’t move on
stuck
my luck
darkness, blackness, emptiness
here we go again
see things
hear things
think things
feel things
nonsense words
mix to make my thoughts
screwed up is my brain
I drive myself insane
Wanna turn back
Can’t
Darkness, blackness, emptiness
Too
Far
Gone


© Copyright 2000 Danielle Zumstein - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2000-10-22 03:55 AM


Darkstar,
this is a very dark piece that says a lot.
Be well
Kethry.

Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.
Gail Sheehy

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2000-10-22 09:47 AM


Darkstar, the bitterness and hurt is described poignantly here...I like your clipped style..

Mommy’s slap
Daddy’s taunt
“you’re too fat”
love is what I want
need
none
gone
darkness, blackness, emptiness
three words trying to describe the
nothingness

Isn't it, sometimes, absolutely impossible to define the void? To chase the tangibility of nothing and label it.

No words seem to hold the key to understanding it. And even if words can describe it in some small way it rarely eases the hurt.

K

Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
3 posted 2000-10-22 11:12 AM


'star....Loved it.  Kethry said all I was going to say about it.  (I may have to hire her to do all my responses).  I know the darkness from which you speak.  The slaps, the taunts...the body heals, the mind just remembers.  Hardrock
firecrakker
Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235
Virginia
4 posted 2000-10-22 03:21 PM


darkstar,
You have done an amazing job here... reading it in my mind..the words and rhythm.. I feel that void you speak of. It is so bleak and clipped.. as the pain that caused it. But pain can heal and void be filled, if only we let it.  Be strong, friend.

Crakker

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