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Dark Poetry #2
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Killer
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Killer |
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VypEr New Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 6 |
The darkness inside of me feeds on my soul Consumed by feelings I long to control Trying to hide the dark side of my life Avoiding my date with the steel end of a knife But if I hand you the blade and beg you to save me Would your aim be true? Would you heal me or slay me? I'm the sacrifice at your altar Make me an offering for your god Let my blood be your warpaint My heart be your feast Celebrate my death with your violent dance Then wash your skin clean of me It's my devilish ways that will make you a saint Who I am matters the least I love what I can't have I hate what I can't lose Decisions come in twos So I'm always forced to choose Between the things that make you happy and the things that make me sad When I decide to choose nothing Why does that make me glad? So here take the blade but make sure your aim is true 'cause I won't save myself when I know the killer is you |
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| © Copyright 2000 VypEr - All Rights Reserved | |||
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
This poem is awesome, hot, on fire...SUperb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.) |
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VypEr New Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 6 |
Thank you Xeonox, I'm flattered that my admission of weakness when faced with adversity is worthy of compliments.  ) |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
Interesting read. Is this something you've written recently? "I love what I can't have I hate what I can't lose" -- It's as easy as making a commitment to doing whatever it takes to have what you want and deciding to walk away from what you hate. "When I decide to choose nothing why does that make me glad?" -- It sounds like you're not ready to be accountable for your actions. You don't want to accept responsibility for what happens in your life. It's so much easier to sit back and let others make the decisions for you so that you can gripe about it later. "But if I hand you the blade and beg you to save me Would your aim be true? Would you heal me or slay me?" "So here take the blade but make sure your aim is true 'cause I won't save myself when I know the killer is you" --- I find it interesting that this person's motives are undetermined in the beginning but by the end, you've decided they would hurt you. Was that a conscious end to this poem or did it just happen that way? Take me as I am or watch me as I go |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Welcome!! This is deep meaning to be sure. I hope you have read our guidelines and realise this peace is ok, but any 'more' would be deleted or moved???? Great interesting work and thoughts here!!  *Friendship is a horizon - which expands whenever we approach it...* ~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~ |
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moshpit Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 143cebu, philippines |
I love what I can't have I hate what I can't lose brilliant. |
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qtpieelmo Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY |
Oh WOW this is very powerful, I loved the ending & the whole thing LOVE ELMO <3 |
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Zyell Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 121USA |
Intent.....wow! enjoyed, Z |
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Lady Lost Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470 |
So much truth in what you write. Sadly, I can relate to every single word. "And I still believe you can never have too much fiction because reality is such a bore..." - REA |
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boardman Junior Member
since 2000-05-09
Posts 44 |
Hi Vyper, Nice job! This one touches on so many different areas. My favorite part - I love what I can't have - this ones a given I hate what I can't lose - oops, already there Decisions come in twos So I'm always forced to choose Between the things that make you happy - always have to make them happy and the things that make me sad - still making them happy When I decide to choose nothing Why does that make me glad? - finally, you can be you "Explosions, are just the thoughts of a creative person." - Boardman |
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VypEr New Member
since 2000-09-27
Posts 6 |
Tara, I love it when you critique me, my muse! lol You're close on this one but not quite. Yes, this is a recent piece and while it deals mostly with the state of my marriage, it also touches a little bit upon you and I. I have no problem with accountability; I was referring to the idea of just walking away from ALL of it. Irresponsible? Maybe... a cop out? sure.. but with the frustration I am feeling right now, the urge to just run away before I am "killed" is a strong one. And the ending was a conscious decision; she "killed" me a long time ago. Isis, Thanks for your compliments. I admit that I am unsure of what the guidelines are here though. In using violent imagery to describe the sacrifices I have made for relationships gone wrong, I thought this would be the most appropriate forum. My apologies if I have offended anyone. moshpit, qtpieelmo, Zyell, and Lady Lost, thanks for the kind words and boardman, I have to especially thank you because you "got" exactly what I was trying to say with this piece. You read me word for word on this one. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
VypEr, welcome to passions, with a strong poetic vioce like that I think you're gonna like it here. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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