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a-alibaster
Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392


0 posted 2000-09-25 12:01 PM



( trying some thing a bit different for me...no rhym...so if it be aweful, please let me know?!)

Beautiful

  He sat silently alone in the room filled with others.
Head bowed
as if attempting to hide
within the shadows of the candles.
Uttering not a sound,
yet, his eyes speaking volumes.
Drawn to him and his mystery
as never before,
my mind wandered wildly.
His steal gray eyes, so enticing,
seemed to silently whisper my name.
So strong, yet, so frail.
I became lost in his beauty.
The beauty of a creature feared
by those that judged far too harshly.
Unforgiven in his ways
and for what he is.
He shivered slightly at my stare
as I stepped slowly towards his side.
The coolness of his skin
eliminating the air
and caressing my shadow gently.
Taken back
by this exquisite presence
as my heart beat heavily
within my own ears.
A whisper beyond sweet compare
escaped from his divine form...
"I hear your willingness to feed my
desires.
I hear the precious blood
slipping ever so gently
through your longing veins.
Are you willing, willing
to love a creature such as I,
to join me in my solitude
for eternity?"
With out hesitation
and filled with longing
beyond comprehension
I became one
with this beautifully
misunderstood creature
and drown within his arms
to find passionate love
within his phlebotomy
Beautiful.


"There is an alter ego which
dwells in every soul..."
a-alibaster

"I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less,
I am tears of pain, tears of Death.

© Copyright 2000 a-alibaster (H.A.R.) - All Rights Reserved
DeathTrippy
Junior Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 45
WY USA
1 posted 2000-09-25 12:53 PM


Exceptional.  If this is an experiment than keep up the labwork.  Don't worry about the lack of rhyme..  it gives a freedom to this work that compliments what you accomplished in writting it.
a-alibaster
Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 392

2 posted 2000-09-25 02:13 PM


Deathtrippy,
I thank you kindly for your words. I am glad that it was not a total mess!! I have always seemed to have a bit of a problem writting none-rhyme.
Until...ali


"There is an alter ego which
dwells in every soul..."
a-alibaster

"I am as I am, nothing more, nothing less,
I am tears of pain, tears of Death.

LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

3 posted 2000-09-25 03:23 PM


It's not terrib;e at all, very interesting piece, it was very intriguing to read.

"Are you willing, willing
to love a creature such as I,
to join me in my solitude
for eternity?"

great lines, hopefully together they wont be alone  

Take Care!

"Most girls want a man with the mean green
Don't wanna dance if he can't be
Everything that I dream up
A man that understands real love"


bluebrdy65
Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 276
Gladys,
4 posted 2000-09-25 08:38 PM


I don't have words to exspess the beauty in this poem.
I think because there was no rhyme
maybe there was more freedom to write more clearly
What a wonderful poem
Bluebrdy

Snowdwen
Member
since 2000-09-16
Posts 75
Louisiana
5 posted 2000-09-26 03:56 AM


Great! work...
My faviort lines were.

"I hear your willingness to feed my
desires.
I hear the precious blood
slipping ever so gently
through your longing veins.

I think the lack of rhymm brout a diffrent tone.. I like it very much!
Michell


"You live you learn and life moves on"



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