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Dark Poetry #2
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I Regret...something I did?
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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I Regret...something I did? |
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a_little_girl Member
since 2000-05-08
Posts 307San Alejandro, HI, USA |
What did I do, to recieve the slamming door? What did I do, to love you evermore? What did I do, to deserve this pain? What did I do, to be alone, in the rain? I saw you the other night, in some bar somewhere. I walked in, and it seemed, like I was never there. You were talking to a girl, someone not older than me. I called your name, but was me, you didn't see. I was forever faithful, loyal and true, I loved no one else, no one like you. So many hours on the phone, so many nights. Though our relationship, was many fights. But the question that races through my mind, were you ever truely, really mine? This is the last straw, that broke, I regretted every word, that we spoke. I regretted every action, everything in your name, ...but, as I look at this picture... I still love you all the same. I sit staring at this photo, when I hear a knock at the door. You look bad, haggard, and your eyes are black. Seems like your girlfriend, gave you what you deserved...a hard smack. I look at you distrustingly, as you plead on. I try to find the will to forgive, to go on. But you came all too late...for I already have one.  ------------------------ Well that was a bit long for my tastes...tell me what you think of it. [This message has been edited by a_little_girl (edited 09-19-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Karen McLeod - All Rights Reserved | |||
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bluebrdy65 Member
since 2000-05-16
Posts 276Gladys, |
Great Job With a great ending I loved it keep up the good work bluebrdy |
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gjam Member
since 2000-08-23
Posts 85Arkansas |
I like this one...I understand the feeling. Good work....keep it up...Greg |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes this is a good expression of your feelings...surprised you weren't the one considering giving him a black eye when you saw him with someone new..ha ha....just kidding don't go and hit him..find a man thats more loyal...James |
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a_little_girl Member
since 2000-05-08
Posts 307San Alejandro, HI, USA |
Blue & Greg-Thanks James-In most of my poetry, I try to express my true feelings at the time. This is what I felt a while back. --Little Girl |
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2shallow New Member
since 2000-09-20
Posts 3 |
I don't feel that the poem is too long. No one will know when the poem is the right length except you. That is the amazing thing about poetry. It is an extension of oneself that no one else can truely comprehend. Some may come close, but words mean different things to different people and connotations are ever-changing. Write for life |
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Snowdwen Member
since 2000-09-16
Posts 75Louisiana |
All I can say is wow.. I haven't been around long, but I do now that I understand, at least I think I do. any how good job! Michell "You live you learn and live fomes on" |
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nicolette Junior Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 42St. Paul, Minnesota |
this is a wonderful poem. Your true feelings were beautifully expressed. Thank you. |
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a_little_girl Member
since 2000-05-08
Posts 307San Alejandro, HI, USA |
2shallow--thanks for the advice Snowdwen & nicolette--thank you for your complements --Little Girl |
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