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Dark Poetry #2
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taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738


0 posted 2000-09-16 09:15 AM


Your hand you raised
In a silent goodbye
Your face twisted,
Contorted against
The glass.
As the car moved away
I couldn't distinguish
What were your tears
And what was the rain
On the pane
Of glass.

~ Tara ~



"A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish

© Copyright 2000 Tara - All Rights Reserved
JulieAnn
Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754
Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!!
1 posted 2000-09-16 11:39 AM


Wow!!! this is good....great work.....

Julie :)



Click
Member
since 2000-06-11
Posts 202
USA
2 posted 2000-09-16 12:41 PM


Wow!! powerful image....I can see it!

Click



LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

3 posted 2000-09-16 05:35 PM


Oh how I hate goodbyes!!!!!!!
I just can't handle goodbyes well...
It was very nice, I can feel the pain.
Take Care!

"Most girls want a man with the mean green
Don't wanna dance if he can't be
Everything that I dream up
A man that understands real love"


fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

4 posted 2000-09-16 06:00 PM


This was really good and powerful.  The imagery is great.  Thanks for sharing.
BirdeeB
Member
since 2000-09-16
Posts 106
USA
5 posted 2000-09-17 10:53 AM


I totally understand, I've said to many goodbyes in my life to cry anymore..
Birdee

"So don't judge me by my failures, only by my dreams" SR71

ilph
Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 78

6 posted 2000-09-18 02:51 AM



Tara,

so much is cramped into this poem.

pane indeed

such a wonderful metaphor for love departing.

I cant say enough good stuff about this one..it really takes me there even though its a place ive never really been.

Josh

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

7 posted 2000-09-18 04:19 AM


This may be compact in form for what you have expressed thru pen however it is immense in feelings and tugs real deep.

A great write!
  Coco  


[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 09-18-2000).]

Night Chica
Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 39
Vermont
8 posted 2000-09-18 07:05 PM


Tara -

Your poem potrays that image and hurt very well.  Goodbyes are always hard and painful.  

Good Job.

Megs


I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

-- Margaret Mitchell

taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

9 posted 2000-09-19 01:17 AM


Julie... thanks for stopping by!  

Click... thanks for your comments!  

LM... yeah, I HATE goodbyes also *sigh*... that one was awful.  

fractal007... I'm glad you enjoyed it... thanks!  

Birdee... sorry to hear that... sometimes it does seem as if there are no tears left.

Josh... thanks for your comments!    You're lucky you've never been there... hope you never do.

Coco... thanks for stopping by... glad you liked!  

Megs... thank you for your thoughts - appreciated   BTW, I like your sig.  

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
10 posted 2000-09-19 11:36 AM


Tara,

I thought I'd pop by to see what you've been posting recently and it was well worth it!  
What a perfect and sharp snap-shot you've created here. Ouch! It hurts!


Lotharingia
"Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo



Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

11 posted 2000-09-19 05:17 PM


a sad image you have created..very nice..

"There is a chord in every
                                                     heart that has a sigh in it,
                                                        if touched aright."
                                                - Marie Louse De La Ramee (1839-1908),
                                                         English Writer

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
12 posted 2000-09-20 10:29 PM


Sad and beautiful Tara,
Take care
Catalinamoon

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