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Dark Poetry #2
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MiSuNdErStOoD
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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MiSuNdErStOoD |
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aPaThEtiK_aNGeL New Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 4 |
Sweet inside puts on a mask to hide look bad-assed it won't last break into pieces pain declines releases hurts to feel soft like you aren't tough enough but a whole army couldn't survive your torment grown men would run for shelter from the hail storms of your mind would leave the strongest person blind but your mask is a thousand layers of pure cement and everyone says you're fine but you know deep inside you're desperately crying sweet inside put on your mask to hide because you're not who you are |
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| © Copyright 2000 aPaThEtiK_aNGeL - All Rights Reserved | |||
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pegasus111 Member Elite
since 2000-07-27
Posts 2219ocala, fl, usa |
great post..one small change suggested..last line.."because you're not who you are"...to "because you're not who you say you are"..just a thought..peace the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep, and many miles to go before I sleep...Frost |
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Lonelypoet Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 123Conklin,NY,USA |
Great poem and I do agree that you should change the ending alittle but otherwise a nicely worded poem. Dreams are the the gateways to making the impossible possible So many words, for the broken heart... |
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firejerm Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 217Springfield, OH, good ol USA |
Change the ending if you wanna, but this should hit a lot of people right where it counts. I think more than once in our lives we've covered our pain up so others would not think us weak. Great work here...by the way, No angel is pathetic.  Jeremy "Those little slices of death, how I loathe them." -Edgar Allen Poe |
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Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
Hey, great poem! really a lot of people are like that I guess...just to keep others believe that they are strong...but I guess sometimes it'snot a good thing...cuz you have to let those feelings and stuff out sometime... take care and keep up the good work! love, Virgin Suïcide... "I love the way you love, but I hate the way, I'm supposed to love you back..." Love is hard to live... Try to live life in love.... |
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