navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » Defeat
Dark Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Defeat Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
G. A. Webb
Member
since 2000-01-21
Posts 441
Stanton, California, USA

0 posted 2000-08-29 08:43 PM


I shot an arrow
In the sky
Don't ask me where
Don't ask me why
And with it went
My heart that died
And all the tears
That I had cried

I stood alone
Without a sound
With my feet
Firm on the ground
I felt something
And turned around
But no one there
Is what I found

I walked away
With head held low
Know not do I
Where next I'll go
As I trudge alone
My pace is slow
After paying the price
I've nothing to show

These words now
I'll not repeat
For they echo
My defeat
My love is lost
And bitter sweet
My soul is ash
Before my feet  

G.  A. Webb

< !signature-->

Regret not that which you have done,
Rather that which you haven't



[This message has been edited by G. A. Webb (edited 08-29-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 G. A. Webb - All Rights Reserved
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
1 posted 2000-08-29 10:13 PM


This is awesome. Every line is just spell binding. I loved the following very much.

And with it went
My heart that died
And all the tears
That I had cried

Great work.



Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
2 posted 2000-08-29 11:02 PM


Oh this is so rich and powerful. And so sad. I can't tell you how much I liked this poem.
catalinamoon

LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

3 posted 2000-08-30 06:00 AM


Oh, oh....
Awesome poem!!! Simply great...
"My love is lost
And bitter sweet
My soul is ash
Before my feet "

Great writing!!! Take care!

sonjes
Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564
North Carolina
4 posted 2000-08-30 07:56 AM


Great rhythm and flow in this poem...twas an enjoyable read with great emotion wove into the fabric of the words...

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
-Enigma


Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
5 posted 2000-08-30 11:25 AM


wonderful poem, so easy to read such powerful words.
G. A. Webb
Member
since 2000-01-21
Posts 441
Stanton, California, USA
6 posted 2000-08-30 02:59 PM


Thank you all for your comments! I'm glad you all liked this one so much. I started with the first stanza (which is unusual for me sense I usually start my writings either from the end or in the middle and build from there) and was going to leave it at that. But that little voice inside my head that tells me what and when to write urged me to go further with this and gave me the rest. So this is what came out. I almost cried when I read my finished work. Thank you all again!  

G

Regret not that which you have done,
Rather that which you haven't


Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
7 posted 2000-08-30 07:38 PM


So glad you listened to that little voice and wrote this full piece!!  It's great  
Pity more don't listen to that little voice more often, like I keep telling them too LOL
Great work hon, I can see how it would move you..
Isis

*Our deeds travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are..*
~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~


G. A. Webb
Member
since 2000-01-21
Posts 441
Stanton, California, USA
8 posted 2000-08-31 10:12 AM


Isis: Thanks Lisa! I always like when you read my work. Take care!  

G

Regret not that which you have done,
Rather that which you haven't


MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
9 posted 2000-08-31 01:09 PM


I felt this and a tear or two myself...
~~soft hugs
Maureen

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

10 posted 2000-09-03 11:36 AM


~G,...Your words put me there, in the distance, sort of just watching this take place. Powerfully written with such a sorrow tone to it. Heavy stuff. Truly reaches my heart, these words. Do take care. *Peace.
G. A. Webb
Member
since 2000-01-21
Posts 441
Stanton, California, USA
11 posted 2000-09-03 03:46 PM


MMoonchild: Thank you. I'm sorry I brought a tear to your eye but glad that my thoughts touched you. Here's a hug for you! Take care!  

SpitFire: Thanks for reading this. I thought you might like it. Take care as well my dear. Peace!  

G

Regret not that which you have done,
Rather that which you haven't


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » Defeat

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary