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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2000-08-28 02:43 PM


everything
- you planned.
succinctly,
you designed.
then slithered in
still tall,
still grand
(in dark caverns,
-your delusions
shifting sand)

so “fine,”
you whined,
deceitfully reclined
athwart your spider-line

black-widow-*****

you bragged
your heart spent out
without
a care
on all those nights,
(-those lonely nights)
While I’d cry
in unaware
you’d dare-me-dare
then boast
your cheap affair

you
chased me
wicked grinning
‘round me
soul-strain spinning
beneath me
over-ending
left me
just beginning
you

and now
I’ve got an open
twisted
torn and broken
rebuilt
yet still unspoken
memory
of hopin’
it was all a dream

just
nightmared knife
unending strife
faithless wife
stained eyes rife
with unearned life
you waste

on him


Want to stay
Not to go
Wanna ditch the logical.
-Eve 6




[This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 08-28-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved
JSage
Member
since 2000-08-25
Posts 91
Nashua, NH USA
1 posted 2000-08-28 04:03 PM


You write very well... that poem expressed so much that I could feel and even relate to and in such a beautiful way with such wonderful metaphors.  I look forward to reading more from you.

-Jes

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
2 posted 2000-08-28 04:30 PM


Just an awesome, and a deep poem. Thank you for sharing.  

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
3 posted 2000-08-28 07:16 PM


Christopher, wow, wow wow damn you are good,
I came home tired and weary only to be slapped across the face with this, and man does it sting, also hurt my ego...I am jealous, this is just too good.



"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy

Lil OnE
Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234
Pasco County. Fl.
4 posted 2000-08-28 07:24 PM


Christopher,
WOW. Like brian madden said... "Damn you are good". I really liked this. Such feeling behind it! The line, "You left me, just beginning you" was really thought proviking for me. Once so close, nobody could tell where you ended and she started. I miss that feeling so much. Very well written!  


"I've fallen asleep, slept so sound.
Fallen so fast,
I missed the ground"
~Lil OnE~


SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

5 posted 2000-08-28 07:35 PM


~Hey C,...haven't read you in a few. Glad to get the chance again. This one definately leaves a mark. A trace of it remains wrapped around me. Swirling with your words,...so cleverly expressing this. So many totally flowing lines. This is intelligent writing. It's so well said. So real. So,...damn good. Take care kid. *Peace.

~Holy moly was that a praising reply or what??? heheahahaha..I meant every bit...honestly I did.

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
6 posted 2000-08-28 09:47 PM


I read it over and over-- it has a wonderful lilting melody if you sing it...lol
very good poem here



Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Rosebud1229
Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813
North Carolina
7 posted 2000-08-29 12:23 PM


very good poem, I love the flow of the words
the way they reached out to me was incredible.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2000-08-29 01:02 AM


You know, if you keep writing your heart like this, it just may ruin your reputation...smiles to you Chris...this is excellent work as usual.
silentsky
Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 114

9 posted 2000-08-29 03:04 AM


the flow of words is really well done...
i like your poem a whole lot. it expresses a lot of pain.
shira

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
10 posted 2000-08-29 04:19 AM


Chris, WoW! Wow! WOW!
this piece left me breathless and bleeding (metaphorically speaking) Fabulous , fabulous work. Look you've got me so amazed I'm repeating myself. Once again fabuluos.

Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
11 posted 2000-08-29 11:28 AM


JSage - A warm thank you. I'm afraid that if you're truly interested, you might have to search the archives and such. I'm afraid I don't get much chance to write poetry these days!  

Xeonox - Thank you for replying!

Brian - Wow m'friend... you're certainly helping my ego!   Thank you sir!

Lil OnE - Thank you... I miss it too.  

SpitFire - You ok chick???   'Precite the warm gushing, I do, I do!  

Jamie - I would... but nothing sounds good if *I* sing it! Thank you!

Rosebud1229 - I'm grateful it touched you.

S'en - Reread it lady... look a little deeper...*wink-wink nudge-nudge*

silentsky - Thank you... and yes. But I do believe that through expression can come negation.  

Kethry - LOL Glad it's metaphoric... would hate to hear of someone having to go to the hospital because of me!   Thank you!


Peace all

Chris

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
12 posted 2000-08-29 12:05 PM


Hmmm...wow

Different, unique, cool...very cool.  There's a flow about this that the tongue could almost dance to.

Chris, this reminds me very strongly of something.  I'll email you!


Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
13 posted 2000-08-29 02:15 PM


Christopher, you write very well. You have a way of clinching the deep feelings, describing them wonderfully.

Much enjoyed the read. ...chanson~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2000-08-29 02:44 PM


Oh.  Nevermind.  ROFL....I think I need to get out of the house for awhile...LOL
insect
Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014

15 posted 2000-08-29 08:44 PM


This is excellent Christopher!
It seems more like a message?
I'm locking this one and putting it
into Announcements & Links or
maybe Feelings. (click!)..Umm!
(Click!)…Hmmmm!
(CLICK!)…..HEY! What the!!!?
(CLICK!)(CLICK!)(CLICK!)
….
(click!)…. awe!
LOL
Great poem!
Well I can put it up on top!!


LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

16 posted 2000-08-30 05:49 AM


Wow, Christopher... can't believe I almost missed it. Great piece!
Well I guess it's only natural that moderators write so well, you are a great inspiration to us all!
Take care, LM.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
17 posted 2000-08-30 11:46 AM


Nic - Always a pleasure to have you drop in on me lady!  

Chanson - I write what I know!   Thank you!

Se'n - go hiking or whatever... just do something about those thighs!!! (hehe)

LM - Thank you very kindly! Although I don't think talent has anything to do with being a moderator (or I'd NEVER haver been chosen!  )


AND Insect -


...

...

...ROFLMAO!!!

Thank you!!! That is one of the best laughs I've had in a LOOOOONG time! I liteerally sat here laughing as soon as I read that! Thank you for that.. oh, and the comment.  

Chris


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

18 posted 2000-08-30 06:05 PM


HEY---that was a low blow---hmmm...did I really just type that?  LOL---you'd better watch it bud--I know wrestlin' moves...
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