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Dark Poetry #2
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The Final Score
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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The Final Score |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ 
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*~*The Final Score*~* I look at my wrists, and see the deep slashes there. I wondered why I did it, did I really think no one cared? I try to think, as blood trickles to the floor. Was there anything else I wanted, or is this the final score? My thoughts tell me, its over, its all done. But I tell myself "no", I will never again have fun. I start to walk to get something, and then I happened to fall. I stand up and realize, thats me on the ground curled up in a ball. I guess my thoughts were right, when they said it over and done. Cause I just figured out, I lost and the devil won. ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 Erin Erbs - All Rights Reserved | |||
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
I feel that this was pretty well-written. Very good visualization, and personally i agree with the last verse: That in suicide, no one really wins except the devil. Oh, and the title was a real attention-getter, too! < !signature--> -"Death is the servant of the righteous." [This message has been edited by !!! (edited 08-21-2000).] |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
!!!~~~thanks for the reply. i reallly appreciate it. i think its true that the devil wins too. was the title really a attention getter??? ~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~ |
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LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Hey ERIN ! I really liked the poem, but the title even more, it made me think of a song that is also my reply on this one and other poems about suicide - "The show must go on!" |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
LM~~~thanks for the reply. i really appreciate it. im glad you liked it!! |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
ERIN wow. I really, really liked this. I can see myself in this poem. Very well written  Keep it up, hun, and don't let the devil win, k? ((HUGS))Never give your heart away, it will always come back broken. ~Lil OnE~ |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Lil one~~~thanks for the reply, but how do you see yourself??? i mean this poem isnt about me i was thinking of a friend when i wrote it. but the devil didnt win with her. and if i ever come down to that position i wont let the devil win. just you dont let him win either.ok!!! |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Erin This was very well written. I loved each verse even though it was about such a dreadful subject. This was very well expressed. Exquisite. Garfield |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
ggrn3~~~im glad that you liked it. dont ask me why but your reply made me feel really good. maybe because of the way you replied to it. the words you said. thank you very much for that and for replying. |
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