navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » ciiyrii
Dark Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic ciiyrii Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
allan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620
On the road

0 posted 2000-08-06 05:00 PM


travelling unexpected to the lands of twilight
through the door we walk to the other world
deep green the dark and mantle of the king
darkly spiraling gaunt the grey of crag
wild rain sweeps cliffs plumed bright eyes
travelling on this train of lies
seeking light or at least a star
in foggy day we sleep
for a million years between mosses
our mind in questioning
across the veil of mist within
in the goddess hand content
knowing our hypnosis is real
finding then a nestling place
deep inside the shaking tree
through many nights waiting
rain crashing
rivulets to streams to rivers to sea
now the aching need full bright opal
in the moons pale face
rising to fly swift as the wind
to meet the silver fleece of old
and the always darkness waiting


© Copyright 2000 Allan Tierney - All Rights Reserved
Deborah1
Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653
New Hampshire
1 posted 2000-08-06 05:11 PM


Allan, where have you been, Ive missed your work!! This was full of colors and images, awesome poem!! I read it twice, I enjoyed it so much!! Booo..no place to vote?? Hope to see more soon!!  

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar

MMoonchild
Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715
PA
2 posted 2000-08-06 05:14 PM


travelling on this train of lies


I hate those trains don't you...how about traveling by plane..or boat..would that work..

*teasin' you...what does the title mean..if I amay ask?

~~soft smiles Allan
Maureen

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
3 posted 2000-08-06 08:21 PM


Alan, that is an awesome writing, I love the way it carries you along, just like a waterfall, sliding down the poem.Very impressive.
Catalinamoon

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
4 posted 2000-08-07 02:32 AM


Allan,

How do you do this?

You have made words your slaves, you bend them to your will. This poem is so fantastic, I have it earmarked as one of my favs!

You take us on an undulating journey through time and space, through the unconscious and the conscious, dream and reality. It reminded me of Dylan Thomas. BTW, were you referring to clouds in the title?

BTW, Deb, if I might be so forward as to answer for allan, he hasn’t been anywhere, you just have to “migrate” to corner pub and open to read his wonderful poetry, there are also some real gems in the crit archives.

  



Lotharingia
"Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2000-08-07 08:47 AM


Allan,
I've never seen your work before and I already love it. I agree with Cat, it's like a waterfall carrying you away on the words and I wish I'd brought my life-jacket. lol. Seriously though excellent stuff.
Be well
Kethry.

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- Cole

Wren
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312

6 posted 2000-08-07 09:09 AM


Great work! Wonderous images.... Quite lovely!
Wren

The thread of destiny
Unknown by anyone
Unseen by anyone
Winds around your heart
Moist with tears
-Vampire Princess Miyu Theme

allan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620
On the road
7 posted 2000-08-07 12:34 PM


I'm afraid I was in the deepest slough of despond when I penned this last night... The title doesn't mean anythina (as far as my conscious mind knows!)  

(But I do see Uta the cloud connection - maybe...)  

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
8 posted 2000-08-09 02:15 PM


This is irrelevant, but this poem deserves more comments.
Cirrus, pl: cirri, a thin, whispy, fibrous cloud composed of ice particles and found at hight altitiudes, etc (too lazy to type the rest   )


Lotharingia
"Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo



fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

9 posted 2000-08-09 02:36 PM


Very good work in this poem.  It is a really interesting one.  Lots of good imagery.
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » ciiyrii

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary