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Dark Poetry #2
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Unwanted Affections
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Unwanted Affections |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia 
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Your anaesthetic kisses numb my lips But I can’t swallow this bitter joy Can’t quell the aching in my soul How can your sterile touch make me feel so filthy? And your formaldehyde breath proves you’re dead inside But your spirit is just as dead as mine Every word you utter is more like a requiem And less like a lover’s swoon With surgical skill you stitch me in And bind me to this sick cause I never wanted you, I certainly never loved you But I needed healing, and you offered me a panacea Though it tasted more like poison But who am I to sing with a jaded voice? I’m the one who asked for this You simply answered. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dawn van Krieken - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Hey there,...I like the concept used in this. This poem is painfully true in many ways for probably so many people. They say something like be careful what you wish/ask for....you just might get it. Crap huh? I hear you. Great work. Be well PP. *Peace. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Whew, that was quite something. Very very interesting poem. Cat..... |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~As always a great job done Dawn! Keep it up...Your doing so well~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
But who am I to sing with a jaded voice? and I seethe at myself all the time for this...well done, Dawn. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
...What Spitfire said...  |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Interesting theme. I like the symbolism, dark and creepy. About the poem’s inspiration, I won’t state the obvious. After reading this I’m sure you learned your lesson. ---------------------- Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
SpitFire: you are correct...will be careful next time with my wishes! thank you for your wonderful response! catalinamoon: thank you! you are certainly appreciated! Beth: you my buddy, thank you for your support! serenity: thank you..its good to know that others have that same singing voice! LOL Christopher:..Ditto...LOL..no really, thank you very much for the response and the smiley face. Deranger: funny thing is, i havent really finished learning that lesson yet! thank you for your response! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Can I first say wow then say wow again. Ok on with the real words, and speak my mind this is an amazing piece. Well crafted not a word stray or out of place. If I was to pick a fav. line I would end up pasting the whole poem. Damn you are good.  "I am melancholy, flower cutting through stone" manic street preachers |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
Brian: someone catch me I think Im going to faint! *whew*....what a fabulous compliment that was...good grief got my heart all in a flutter...well you are damned good too mister and thats why your replies mean so much to me!   |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
This poem is fantastic, Princess! How well you demonstrate how we don't really know what we want at all. Lotharingia "Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo |
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JSage Member
since 2000-08-25
Posts 91Nashua, NH USA |
wow! loved your use of words, the medical analogies. I loved this one. very clever. -Jes |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
Jes: wow, you've pulled this one way off the back pages! thank you..im glad you liked it! ~Dawn "Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos |
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