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Dark Poetry #2
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LenMcC1
Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 68


0 posted 2000-08-03 04:37 PM


All That Watch

A beautiful girl
Walks in to town
Dress patterned of flowers
Hair draping down
She smiles at
A girl from Cincinnati
They hold hands to the alley
They make love against the wall
Capturing the minds and fantasies of all that watch

A drunken man
Falls down the stairs
Bleeding from his head
He’s unaware
Pieces of glass stuck to his hand
He lays down there on the sand
A crowd gathers round and some folk help
Others laugh and forget what they saw
He opens his eyes and sees all that watch

So many streets
And so many towns
So many people
So many sounds
Why are there so many of everything
But not enough of anything

A magnificent cloud
Floats overhead
Forming different shapes
In everyone’s eyes
One of thousands of clouds
In the sky
Grown men with mustaches
Stare so long
The clouds put on a show for all that watch

Schoolboy killer
Who hasn’t killed yet
Waiting for his life to be set
Cries at the feet of his priest
But Christ shows him no mercy
Scared little child
Too young to be mean
Scared little child so small
Scared little child who is never watched

So many streets
And so many towns
So many people
So many sounds
Why are there so many of everything
But not enough of anything


© Copyright 2000 LenMcC1 - All Rights Reserved
fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

1 posted 2000-08-03 04:48 PM


This is a really good poem about society.  I like your repetition of

Why are there so many of everything
But not enough of anything

This really lends itself to portraying society's tendancy to be so selfish.  People nowadays don't like to share too much.  Canada and the US probably consume enough goods to feed a third of the planet!

Very good poem.

EWDrake
Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 183
NC, USA
2 posted 2000-08-03 05:35 PM


Social voyeurism. We may see, may even watch carefully, and yet seek to remain uninvolved. From a very young age so many are desensitized to the point that the permanence of death is a nonreality never considered. Or else the genre of choice may glorify death and pain as idols, giving romance to a gothic dark generation still too young to know the depth of the way chosen as the light is choked out of too many sad lives. Your verse wanders very deep, my friend...
Excellent job!


With a long held breath given dark freedom, the single flame in sorrow's window flickers out.
~EWD~


Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
3 posted 2000-08-04 01:46 AM


Social voyeurism…
What a horrid reality.  Society is a sick place, but no sicker than the sum of its parts.  You have illuminated our world is ways that words fail to properly express.  This one goes to my library for sure.    



----------------------
Spreading insanity, one post at a time

Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197
Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A.
4 posted 2000-08-04 01:51 AM


A very powerful piece of work to be sure! You've captured the distance exhibited by society very well. Excellent work.

Sing while you may
-The Prophet Q'spel

Your pain is for you alone, As it is, As it was, As it will be forever, Amen
-The Prophet Q'spel


SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

5 posted 2000-08-04 09:44 AM


~Hey there,...glad to read you again. Right from the start I was hooked on this one. Huge observation. So well put. Take care now. *Peace.
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