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Dark Poetry #2
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Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197
Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A.

0 posted 2000-08-03 12:44 PM


Sunrise in the city
Witnessed from an alleyway
The Summeer breeze still blowing
From the night that slipped away

Black bricks slowly greying
Taking on a reddish hue
The city slowly waking
As the Sun makes his debut

Walking through the city
Morning breeze against my back
The Summer slowly waning
Winter planning her attack

Sunrise in the city
Witnessed from an alleyway
The gentle breeze is blowing
As the sunrise slips away


Sing while you may
-The Prophet Q'spel


Your pain is for you alone
As it is
As it was
As it will be forever
Amen
-The Prophet Q'spel

© Copyright 2000 Darren Lausa - All Rights Reserved
poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
1 posted 2000-08-03 12:48 PM


seems often that when we speak of sunrises its from a country place with open fields..or maybe a beach.......but this sunrise in the city..sounds just as beautiful and fleeting...i like your take on this!
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
2 posted 2000-08-03 01:13 AM


Such an interesting poem. I can picture every word that you have written.



Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

ilph
Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 78

3 posted 2000-08-03 06:59 AM



Brilliant..i am in that alleyway. Thanks also for your comments. I read your poetry, and i have something to aspire to. Thankyou.

Deborah1
Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653
New Hampshire
4 posted 2000-08-03 07:13 AM


Ian, I could feel the busy feeling as everyone wakes, and the day begins. You captured the feelings well here, Loved it!!

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
5 posted 2000-08-03 03:44 PM


Ian, very strong images, great poem.
Catalinamoon

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

6 posted 2000-08-03 03:55 PM


This is a beautiful poem, with some original ideas.  As others have said, sunrise is
usually spoken more of in an open area.  This is some very beautiful and original work.  Your imagery is also very beautiful.

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

7 posted 2000-08-03 05:56 PM


~Mmhhm,...I am there. You have captured this with sheer beauty and grace. Lovely, lovely piece. Be well. *Peace.
sash
Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 125

8 posted 2000-08-03 09:19 PM


Ian~Beautifully written...I am but a lil' ole' county girl, but You have lured Me into the sights, sounds and even scents of Your city.Thanks!

       ~Sash~


Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
9 posted 2000-08-04 08:37 AM


I always thought cities were hard and cold. This poem gave me a whole new image to hang on to, lovely
Kethry

"There are times in life a kindred spirit comes along. Hold onto those people. They are what makes this life worth living."- Anon

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