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Dark Poetry #2
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ilph
Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 78


0 posted 2000-08-02 11:37 PM



I unfurl the wire as I go
One foot and then the other
It's a wobbly way of life I know
But I haven't found another

And if it breaks and if I fall
I will recover the next day
But if my feelings are punctured
And drain from my wounds
Then that's where I will lay

Until she stands me on my feet
With that sweetness scoop of hers
And at the horizon is where we'll meet
Parallel the four

And then gravity will reverse
For us for evermore


© Copyright 2000 ilph - All Rights Reserved
MiseryDivine
Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 114
Chicago! en america...oh lala! i wish i lived in England.....(sigh)
1 posted 2000-08-03 12:00 PM


hey there!....i like your poem, i do...tis very interestingly kewlz! good job!
much love~
MiSeRyDivine~~


Wrath is glowing now through my sunken eyes..
Pain is growing I'm jaded form your lies
I dont know why but its the best way to die
You are the trig

Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197
Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A.
2 posted 2000-08-03 12:33 PM


You have a very good grasp of metre and rhyme. I am impressed. I liked the imagery also. Welcome and nice work.

Sing while you may
-The Prophet Q'spel


Your pain is for you alone
As it is
As it was
As it will be forever
Amen
-The Prophet Q'spel

poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
3 posted 2000-08-03 01:25 AM


great poem! i agree with the others....a job very well done
Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
4 posted 2000-08-03 10:40 AM


Welcome to Dark Passions!    Great first post you have here.  Keep up the wonderful work.

Peace
DkW


Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had
Ahhhhhh you gave me light


Lynne Dale
Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 114
Melbourne Victoria
5 posted 2000-08-03 10:44 AM


This poem has a nice feel to it. welcome to Passions. Keep on writing.
Be well.
Keth.

Kethry.
When dark of night steals your soul. Think of me and be made whole.


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
6 posted 2000-08-03 04:19 PM


Welcome to Passions!

Just out of curiousity..cause I'm nosey... what's the signifigance of the line:

Parallel the four ???  

ilph
Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 78

7 posted 2000-08-03 11:10 PM



Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments. I wrote "Parallel the four" to mean four feet walking the same path, but it can also mean four eyes with the same goal, or anything else you want.

Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
8 posted 2000-08-04 01:22 AM


Subjective exposure is true power of poetry, its meaning is dynamic for every reader, sure there are always similar feelings, but these are often stressed by the poet.  Poetry means everything and anything.  
Uh, sorry, I have become possessed by some damn philosophical demon of late that has had me writing long, pointless replies about life in general whilst blatantly ignoring the poem at hand…
First thing I like is the symbolism you used, its true, we’re all walking a tightrope through life.  It’s a slow and often painful progression.
  


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Spreading insanity, one post at a time

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