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Dark Poetry #2
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White Powder
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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White Powder |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA 
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Silently I slip down dark alleys, Skulking in doorways, Moving in shadows. Dumpster stench overwhelms me, As beads of sweat dot my forehead, Trickling down my spine. Unseen, unheard, Except by the night creatures, Rats, cats and occasional wino. Crouching, lurking in the darkness, Peering from the ally, Into the bright white of civilization at the end. Trembling, insides churning, Tensing, gasping, The addiction gnawing. My life given over, To that hellish white powder, That snow of life. Moments into eternity, Shame-faced, emerging From the shadows. Sweat soaked currency exchanged, For a mere moments pleasure, And a lifetime of regret. Slipping back into the darkness, To hide my remorse, To hide myself, my deed. And then, euphoria, As that insidious white powder Touches my nose, my lips, my very soul. Oh God, deliver me from this affliction, This addiction, this predilection, For white powdered donuts. Dieting is hell. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marv Hardin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Rex Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 482Houston, Texas |
Great one Hardrock....good laugher! I'm into chocolate covered myself. Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility. -William Wordsworth- |
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Magebeast Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 60 |
First you almost made me cry, then you made me crack up! Excellent poem Hardrock! |
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Dark_kisses_Within Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680Kansas |
GOOD GRIEF MARV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (laughing) I was reading this so seriously and BOOM its about dieting!!!!!! Great poem though!  You sure can create a when life has me down. thanxDkW Once there was a darkness Deep and endless night You gave me everything you had Ahhhhhh you gave me light |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~I sort of feared clicking on this one,...The title just stabs me. That exact thing has crumbled sooo many pieces of my life, not in my own use but others in my life. *sigh*,...I know this is supposed to be humorous,...and it is, but I have aches in my belly after reading it. Boy oh boy Hardrock,...I'll get you for this. haha. Take care you and dieting??? naah,...the heck with it. Eat the darn donut and smile.  . *Peace. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Did it again-surprised me, made me laugh. No small accomplishment, that..Love the twists, and the whole poem, as always. I go for glazed... Luv ya.. "Keep dreams alive, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." author unknown |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Ha ha ha! This one had me thinking: Why is Hardrock writing about this? A bit out of character. Hmmm ... And being a naive dimwit I was of course NOT expecting the twist, although you are rather fond of doing that. A Brilliant poem, Marvin. As though you ever wrote one that wasn't. Lotharingia "Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo |
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DeathTrippy Junior Member
since 2000-07-15
Posts 45WY USA |
This cracks me up. You got me going here. I never expected it. Great work but I prefer jelly filled. |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
sure you aren't a cop at heart??? thanks for the much much needed smile. great work, but you knew that already. kynder Sunshine can not bleach The snow, Nor time unmake what Poets know. Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Ha! LOL! Yep - got me too! Great one! |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
Let me say that here I am so involved in reading this...feeling all kinds of different things...then to my surprise, no I mean AMAZEMENT! ...a white powdered donut appears and I flip, another masterpiece Hardrock, you've done it again!!! The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar |
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Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A. |
Wow! I didn't see that one coming. (I like blueberry, myself) Sing while you may |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Yes, like the others you had me worried for a moment..but a smile has broken across my face now... ~~softly Maureen |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
HardRock~ Ya' got me ! Now here's my favorite - Chocolate Delighted Sprinkle  Drooooooool ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
An enjoyable poem, I like a pleasant twist also. Your base structure, allowed the poem to flow, to gather the reader; perhaps a little more structure could be added? Although it is fine the way it is. Gloom |
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L Tiuch Member
since 2000-02-04
Posts 151NY |
Incredible! You hooked me in the beginning and my soul was crying for you. Then...white powder donuts...had to go have one myself. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
the funny little twists you make. this is great though i don't really care for sweets. keep up the great work my friend. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
ROTFLMAO Thanks! This best be at the top! |
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Lady Lost Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470 |
You had me fooled as well...I was all nervous clicking on this one....made me laugh at the end..nice. You can never have too much fiction; reality can be such a bore |
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Chere Junior Member
since 2000-07-26
Posts 18 |
What a wonderful surprise!! What laughter you brought to my eyes!! Thank You--awesome poem! Chere |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
your absolutely right, but I doubt you were hiding out for the krispy kreme donut man, after all they do sale them at the piggly wiggly, no need to sup with the wino's. You did get me there with that white powdery substance , great read!! |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
damn, I got caught by the ending, cool poem very well thought out |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
WOw like everybody else said the ending was a huge surprise. Not many things do that to me........good job!  "I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust." I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Hardrock, you did it again, drew me in and got me laughing. I loved it. Be well Kethry Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. Gail Sheehy |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
i giggled and people in the computer lab looked at me funny. but it was worth it.jann elizabeth If you can feel that staying human is worthwhile, even when it can't have any result whatever, you've beaten them. -1984 |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Hi hardrock..i thought that was you sitting in the policecar haa...if you need one in a hurry just go to the donut shop...a donut that is haa...  ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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bestgirl911 Senior Member
since 2000-10-04
Posts 551Clio, MI , United We Stand |
Had me going as well.....was about to cry and BOOM! Great Job. Best |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I really liked this one! This would be a great poem for a dieting support group. Good work on making this depressing as well as commical. |
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LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Hahahaaaaa!!! Just made a very quick and fun visit! Cool, love it! Take Care! |
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