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Dark Poetry #2
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Xeonox
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Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA

0 posted 2000-07-20 12:29 PM


Ringing of bells,
In the great halls of hell,
Leaps of fire,
As the walking slaves tire,
Singing of witches,
Followed by the feeding frenzy of leeches,
Condemned from the past,
Paying the price at last,
Devil calls attention,
Dragging the boulder of sins,
Humans turned into lice,
They assemble around the devil,
Pending the next motion from evil.

< !signature-->

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).


[This message has been edited by Xeonox (edited 07-21-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved
Magebeast
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 60

1 posted 2000-07-20 12:31 PM


That's pain given life.  I shudder just thinking about it.  Well done.
Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
2 posted 2000-07-20 12:41 PM


Well done mt friend!  (scratching my head) But the word LICE always does something to me!    Keep up the GREAT work!

DkW


Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had
Ahhhhhh you gave me light


Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
3 posted 2000-07-20 12:58 PM


Xeonox...this one is NAS-TY...leeches and lice, yuk!!!  That's why I liked it so much.  From the darkness.....Hardrock
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

4 posted 2000-07-20 10:29 PM


~This IS nasty,..deliciously dark and nasty. Awesome!!! Be well X. *Peace.
DJLI
Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 237
TN, USA
5 posted 2000-07-20 10:33 PM


very dark...but pretty cool.

EVEN ANGELS FALL.

chase_zone
New Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 2

6 posted 2000-07-20 11:09 PM


xeonox... you are the epitome of sin. heehee. seriously, that was a great one, indeed.
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
7 posted 2000-07-20 11:45 PM


Nice piece, but you can't "grow tire".  You can "tire" though, so drop the word "grow".

Gothic darkness in this, well done.

jwesley

Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
8 posted 2000-07-21 12:25 PM


Thank you for the help jwesely with dropping the word tire.

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

Jaysun C
Member
since 2000-07-20
Posts 56

9 posted 2000-07-21 02:37 AM


even at this hour you keep my eyes
aglow your crys of demise make me afraid to close my eyes

and go to sleep

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
10 posted 2000-07-21 06:09 PM


this is a great piece and i do hope to see more i really enjoyed this so dark yet so real. great word play do keep it up.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
11 posted 2000-07-21 06:45 PM


I would bet they wish it was-" I make a motion we adjourn."

How about "Meeting of the Damned"
I like this btw

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


LarBear
Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 138
Kingston, New York
12 posted 2000-07-21 08:02 PM


Whoo Who...

Im not sure what to say. I just think life is better than that. As far as its written, its written too well. It gave me chills.

LarBear

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