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Dark Poetry #2
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I have lots of Doubts
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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I have lots of Doubts |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I have lots of Doubts I'd probably tell her "I guess I just don't believe... that you really care for me after all." Yes...thats what I'd say in reply to her gall if she said to me "Do you have a problem... punching little numbers and all? At least a weeks gone by since your last call." But then again I could reply with a more sensible line. Such as, "why didn't you call..must it be me that calls first every time?" And of course I already know the answer to that line so I really shouldn't have wasted my time. Quite simply she didn't call cause she doesn't really love me afterall. At least this is what I suspected all along. So why should I even try? I don't know how long I will or where the answers lie. Probably somewhere within my heart and right now it just wants to feel sorry for itself and worry and take some time to cry. So who came up with this idea to pull away and give her some time to think!!! I've come to the conclusion that the payoff stinks cause right now I feel like I'm slowly falling over a raging waterfall and the swirling rapids don't care for me at all and there's no one around to break my fall or rescue me if I live to call. You could safely say I have lots of fears and doubts that this sort of strategy will ever work out. Maybe I need to prepare myself for the fall that will present itself when I finally give up this vigil and call cause I truly would hate to hear her say "Hey...there's a good reason why I didn't call you today cause it's over you fool now get off my phone I have nothing more to say. Oh one more thing...just go away." But then.... what if she says "Hon I sure have missed your calls." Well then... I'd definately have to say "I missed you too...sweetheart and I just called to say... Do you have plans for later today?" Jameslee@July16,2000 [This message has been edited by jmlee12345 (edited 07-16-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved | |||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Well James, I think you are on your way to a whole book on that subject. It sure did give me the exact picture of that waiting game, and how hard it is. That is probably one of the most stresssful times in any relationship, no matter which way it goes. Great expression. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Thank you Catalina for your lovely response...I'm glad that you mentioned stressful...it is that and more...James |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
James, you just stick with this one. You have come to far. I knoe this relationship has been considerably "stressfull" but, it just may be worth it! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
All you can do is your best James. Give her the best (your best) and if it's not enough it's her loss. I find it easier to set a time limit, like if you can't get through to her in say another month, you'll admit it's over no matter how much it hurts. It sounds tough, but sometimes that is all that is left to do.. *hugs* hope it works out for you hon.  I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Thank you Marina and Isis for your wonderful comments and your concern...I appreciate it with all my heart...James |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
James...do you really have doubts? Or are you just afraid to deal with the reality of your situation? As someone recently said to me, "In love, you gotta be all the way in or all the way out". Nice read....Hardrock |
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Dark_kisses_Within Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680Kansas |
Great work James!  I know things have many doubts. But just believe in yourself.DkW |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hardrock I believe you have really captured the essense of this poem...I have both doubts and fears...I am uncertain, uneasy, anxious, about this relationship, and I truly am trying to face up to my fears...these feelings are all interrelated. I did call my sweetheart and she responded well...we set up a lunch date and she is going to call me on Wednesday so we can get together for lunch and talk some more...I am hoping the reality of this situation is that me and Lena will become close friends and at some date in the future we will fall in love with each other...obviously her desires need to be similar for my hopes to become reality and only time and persistance will tell that story. Dark Kisses I am trying to believe in myself and I am trying to listen to Lena and really understand what she wants out of this relationship...right now we are both happy being friends...this would be a neat relationship if I could get over some of my doubts and fears and I can think of no other woman more lovely to spend my time with...James |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Bttt...James |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
hmmm...provoking my thoughts again, James...the waiting game is so hard on people...I thoroughly enjoy reading your work because it is always so clear and full of emotions that you put to paper so well... I have no particular insight, just wanted to let you know that your poetry is moving. Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and use the chance To return to innocence. -Enigma |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
James, the waiting's the hardest. Waiting to fall in love, waiting to fall out of love, waiting for it to be over and waiting to love again. BUT you sure do write great poetry in the meantime. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Thank you Sonjes and Kethry I appreciate your nice remarks...James |
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