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Dark Poetry #2
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A Girl's Night Out
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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A Girl's Night Out |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida 
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Floatin', fightin' Through the crowds. Pushed together, Smoke in clouds. Sweat rolls, drips... Music pounds. Eyes that meet, Smile so sweet. Skin peeks through Lace of pink. No one knows it's dark She thinks. *****kynder Across the gateway of my heart, I wrote "No Thoroughfare!!" But love came laughing by and Cried "I enter everywhere!!!" Herbert Shipman |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kynder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~I was there. Your words put me there. The floating in the beginning,...that word there,..is just so inviting. Then the rest of the poem just swallows you up. WoW!!! (Ok,...this is where I swing my hips to *bump* into yours...and flash you a grand 'ol smile).  . *Peace.*Uuum,...ok...hehe, now that I reread that last part it's beginning to sound a bit funny.  ????[This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 07-14-2000).] |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
What great imagery! I was there, too, while reading it. I know this isn't crit, but I didn't quite get the last line, though. "No one knows it's dark She thinks." So I'm wondering ... Do you mean she thinks she can go ahead with whatever she wants to do because no one can see her, or that she can do what she wants because no one knows what she's really like, or something completely different? lothy  Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Kynder, from this I took the image of a girl alone at a Rock Concert, letting herself be wild, and do what she wants. Right or worng. I can see there could be something much deeper in there, but that was my image. Tell me if I am close.. Sandra "If a man moves you to feel like a woman, the least you can do is let him." Merrit Malloy |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
i can't get much by you sharp ladies!! the last line is saying, smile so sweet, you can see her skin, but darkness is where she lives in her brain none consider. thanks for reading and all the support you 3 never fail to give so willingly. love kynder Across the gateway of my heart, I wrote "No Thoroughfare!!" But love came laughing by and Cried "I enter everywhere!!!" Herbert Shipman |
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Click Member
since 2000-06-11
Posts 202USA |
I believe it is possible to be alone with a thousand people›››› and I know the power of secrets..... Click |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
I was there too, how great this is, it says so much in so many dufferent ways. Well to me it does. Absolutely great  |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
well SIS i had to reply even though this is your girl's night out and i see you had all your friends here with you. so did you ladies have fun? LOL well this is great is as all your work and if you read this before your email check your email. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This is an interesting piece....you created a picture I was able to capture well!! Very nice!!!  Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Kynder..I think I've met this girl a time or two...you certainly described her well. Very well done. Hardrock |
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