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Dark Poetry #2
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Portia
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157


0 posted 2000-07-14 02:50 AM


The emerald cat, there--
(and she points to a cat figurine
which is plainly black)
--has been in my family for centuries.
A hundred centuries.

*chuckle*

Sometimes I feel it's been mine
for that long.

(there is the clink of
sugar cubes in cups, and then
she pours)

Yes, mine for a hundred hundreds

--Tea.

--and a day.
That old green cat has seen me through
my giddy purple youth
and my blood red maturity
and my crone black years
and now it sits and waits for my
hundred hundreds and one to be over.

Cookie?

(the cat remains black, and new
but if her words could make it so
it would become green and
a hundred centuries old.
But her words-- they are only the words
of an old Aunt on her hundred hundredth--)

A hundred plus one day

*chuckle*

Not so many lifetimes, no
Ancient and lonely, modern and loved
contemporary, and downright lustful!
And that old cat-- well sure,
you can touch her.

(and close, and small
the cat's unglazed feet
bear strange mark.
The alphabet of centuries gone.
Timeless, ageless
is this cat, with its
sleek black body and its
very...
very...
green
eyes.
The eyes the Aunt has stared into
all these lonely years.
One could wish for no better companion.)

I think she likes you!

© Copyright 2000 Portia - All Rights Reserved
Deborah1
Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653
New Hampshire
1 posted 2000-07-14 07:10 AM


What an interesting piece!! In life, it can be many things that bring a sense of friendship or company to a person. This cat came alive to me as I read this!! Like it very much!!!!

The choices we make..will without doubt..direct the lives that we lead. Anonymous

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
2 posted 2000-07-14 09:42 AM


Portia,
this is definitely my favourite aunt poem yet. I love the idea of the cat (an Egyptian cat?) and the questions that rise in our minds as we read. Is the cat really new and the aunt confused, and does she then manage to share her reality with you as you listen to her words? Reality is what we make it, after all. Or is the cat truly old and only apparently new?


Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


Portia
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157

3 posted 2000-07-14 12:30 PM


I wanted to convey the sense that the speaker had been humoring the old aunt until the realization struck. The speaker had been looking at the cat and only seeing the surface, taking the aunt's words too literally. A "blue" hat could have green and purple in it as well, but if the flowers are mostly blue, we say the hat's blue. For the aunt, the cat's eyes were its most important feature.

And actually-- the cat is very old but is well-kept. It isn't Egyptian but it is imported from the Mesopotamian region to Egypt; I could have just said "cuneiform" but I don't like to question the Muse   These are details I know didn't carry into the poem but I knew what I meant.

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 2000-07-14 01:46 PM


Damn good! Might I say that this just fairly rocks! I'm still trying to figure out what grabbed me so, abotu it. But for some reason, all I can do is picture a smirky grin being replaced with a genuine smile of wonderment!

Awesome!!

Christopher

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
5 posted 2000-07-14 02:30 PM


I am literally stunned by the subtle power this poem carries.  What a use of imagery!  The dialogue, suggested and otherwise, is heard, and the whole of the conversation played out like a little movie snapshot.

This is excellent!  Enjoyed very much!

Nicole

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
6 posted 2000-07-14 11:31 PM


Well it's all been said, but I second, (or sixth it) incredible images, and so strongly places you at the scene. Just great..
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

7 posted 2000-07-15 03:16 AM


This is incredible...

very well put together and as I am an avowed cat freak...it grabbed me.

K

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
8 posted 2000-07-15 11:37 AM


I saw this like a scene on a tapestry, brought to life -- there was something undoubtedly magical about it.  What an intriguing post!

On the technical side, I was also impressed -- you wrote just enough to keep it interesting, but not enough to make it tedious to read -- NOT an easy thing to judge with freeverse.  Well done, Portia; I will be on the lookout for more of your work.  

--Kess


YOUR LIFE IS A TEST

It is only a test ...

If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions!


Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

9 posted 2000-07-17 06:42 AM


Portia - just wanted to boost this up again, cause I really really think it is awesome...

K

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