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Dark Poetry #2
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demoninlove
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 211
Dehradun

0 posted 2000-07-12 12:14 PM


Beweeping the state of things to come when day ends
In stupor when I do lie in fulsome emptiness profound
With mind and restless soul draped in sorrows liniments
Watching the movements complete the inevitable round
And comes into the emptiness a hint of a whisper of voice
Deftly, gently, intruding like a needle into sanguine flesh
Demanding, insistent, opening new avenues of choice
A singing of angel's whispers appearing this stone to bless
And hope awakens to lift sorrow's cloak a little while
And flickers in the darkness some mysterious light
And invisibly a wispy manifestation of innocent guile
Opens little windows of sunshine tantalisingly bright
   Then does soar into the firmament on gossamer wings
   My awakened soul seeking anew the mystery of things

< !signature-->



[This message has been edited by demoninlove (edited 07-12-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Deepak Menon - All Rights Reserved
Nancee
Junior Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 45
Australia
1 posted 2000-07-12 12:47 PM


Excellent...
Excellent..
Excellent.

Deborah1
Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653
New Hampshire
2 posted 2000-07-12 12:54 PM


Opening new avenues of choice..love that verse, this was wonderful work here, I really liked it!!!!
allan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620
On the road
3 posted 2000-07-12 12:59 PM


I wouldn't know a sonnet from a hole in my sock. But I loved this. it is like a meditation just reading it, so calming...

Allan


I just love that word 'beweeping' so much...

Rex
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 482
Houston, Texas
4 posted 2000-07-12 03:46 PM


Deepak....just excellent as usual!

Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.

-William Wordsworth-

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
5 posted 2000-07-12 04:14 PM


And hope awakens to lift sorrow's cloak a little while--- I love that line--- beautiful image...


Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


demoninlove
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 211
Dehradun
6 posted 2000-07-12 10:44 PM


Thankee Kindly All,
And to Allan - this sonnet is in the form (line endings rhyming) abab cdcd efef gg
i.e the first verse has two phonetic endings alternating - viz a and b
The second verse has c and d (but phonetically different from the a and b of the first verse
The third accordingly had e and f differing from a b c or d of the first two verses
And the last two lines gg match - but differ from the first 3 verses. The entire sonnet has 14 lines.
In fact there are many different structures for sonnets - as I have seen.
Deepak


Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
7 posted 2000-07-13 12:05 PM


Excellent as usual, Deepak.   Hardrock
Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197
Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A.
8 posted 2000-08-18 12:46 PM


This is an excellent example of a Shakespearean sonnet. You, sir, have studied!
While I could ne'er write a sonnet e'en though my life did depend upon't, after  eight years of Renaissance festivals I can understand the lingo. Well done indeed!


Sing while you may
-The Prophet Qa'sepel

Your pain is for you alone, As it is, As it was, As it will be forever, Amen
-The Prophet Qa'sepel

!!!
Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137
VA (U.S.A)
9 posted 2000-08-18 01:01 AM


Very well written! It put me at a loss for words. Keep up the good work.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
10 posted 2000-08-18 07:39 AM


Excellent sonnet Deepak. Up to your usual high standard.
Be well
Kethry.

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

11 posted 2000-08-18 10:57 AM


Ohhh....it's splendid...
I particulary liked:
"...A singing of angel's whispers appearing this stone to bless
And hope awakens to lift sorrow's cloak a little while..."
Great sonnet...

[This message has been edited by LM (edited 08-18-2000).]

baerlon
Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 197
Youngstown and East Liverpool, Ohio, USA
12 posted 2000-08-18 11:25 AM


Demanding, insistent, opening new avenues of choice

that sayes it all, great piece.

There's a peace inside us all
Let it be your friend
It will help you carry on
In the end
There's a peace inside us all
-Creed

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