»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #2
»
Goodbye, My loves
| Dark Poetry #2 |
|
Goodbye, My loves |
|
|
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas 
|
Goodbye, My Loves Kneeling at the edge of the lake whose placid waters they'd swam and fished in so many times before, she lifted her eyes to the mountains climbing high to the sky, shadowed, and dark, silhouetted by the sun just peeking between it's twin peaks. She watched the ruby orb rise higher, and higher, getting brighter and brighter, until it burst in golden splendor upon the lake, and the forest at her back. She raised the bronzed jar in her right hand to her lips; kissed the one in her left hand the same way, rose to her feet, held them out until they sparkled in the sun, said "Goodbye my loves", turned them over and let the cool morning breeze softly scatter the ashes of her son and husband over the lake they'd fished and swam in, so many times… before. W. James Beard, Jr. \div [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 07-10-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Wesley James Beard, Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
breathtaking, beautiful verse, I loved it!!!! |
||
|
Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
Beautiful.....I loved the unexpected ending! Really clever! Well written and well structured! |
||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wow, that about knocked me out at the end.. Beautiful, touching, |
||
|
sgreybe Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 209London, UK |
Wow, so beautiful, touching, heart-wrenching. Great work. Sylvia |
||
|
taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Woah! Powerful stuff!  The ending especially. Very good poem! |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Heart wrenching, yes, but also as said, beautiful.. I felt more a sense of love than loss here... well portrayed and I liked the imagery! |
||
|
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Mmm James,...uummm,...I'm speechless. Beauty,...a bit of sad,...but a calm sort of feeling in the path it led me down. Other than that,..I can't muster up anything worthy to say,...just a big huge *sigh*. *Peace. |
||
|
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
WOW!!! Just popped back in here to see if there were any comments and I am much humbled and honored by all of your words. I wrote this piece as part of a challenge to write a piece where the given was: "A woman kneeling before a lake with mountains before her, a forest behind and holding something in each of her hands." I thank each of you for your warm words, I appreciate it much. And, if you get a chance, I'd like your take on "My Cape Cod Friend" in Passions #8 as it was written to a theme also, that being: "Love at first sight" - with the inability to use any of those words, yet convey the qualities of them. Again, I am not only awed by your comments to this piece...but in awe of each of you as writers. jwesley [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 07-11-2000).] |
||
|
Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
I give this poem an "E" for Eloquent, Elegant, and Electrifying. Good stuff, J. Hardrock |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
