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Dark Poetry #2
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Deborah1
Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653
New Hampshire

0 posted 2000-07-10 06:04 PM




I cry tears of frustration
I am slowly..
Sifting,drifting
Riding the rhythum

Glancing at time
Im looking for
My shooting star
In the darkness of light

Sleepy eyes
Tired fingers..
The weight and pain of life
Have consumed me

© Copyright 2000 Deborah Murphy - All Rights Reserved
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
1 posted 2000-07-10 06:14 PM


Me too, Deb, know the exact feeling.  Nice expression.



"If a man moves you to feel like a woman,
the least you can do is let him."
Merrit Malloy

Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
2 posted 2000-07-10 07:10 PM


"The weight and pain of life have consumed me"....know the feeling very well...and you expressed it even better.  Hardrock
Wren
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312

3 posted 2000-07-10 09:22 PM


I,too,understand.... Nicely put! Great poem! Esspecily the shooting star image. Good work!
Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
4 posted 2000-07-10 09:39 PM


Life can really wipe you out at times, you expressed it well.
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
5 posted 2000-07-10 09:41 PM


You words carry the weight they portray

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
6 posted 2000-07-11 05:49 AM


This is an excellent piece. It gives me the impression that the person in the poem is somehow being dragged along by life, can't really get a hold on anything concrete:
I am slowly..
Sifting,drifting
Riding the rhythum

Glancing at time

wonderful!



Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
7 posted 2000-07-11 05:59 AM


I'll get enough sleep when I'm dead...
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
8 posted 2000-07-11 02:32 PM


yes live doe's give us pain so don't it. and life is my only fear because i don't fear death. because life is so unfair. great piece enjoyed it much

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


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