Thoughts in a shopping mall

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jennie may*
Member

since 2000-06-17

Posts 122

0 posted 2000-07-09 11:39 PM

stupid
shopping mall
so small compared to the
gigantic earth
stretched between us
now

the racks are full of
clothes that will
make me feel better about
what you did

I talk with friends about
trivial things to
hide the
bigger things that
churn beneath my ribs

they don't know about this yet
I don't want them to

in a few hours I will
come to your work
and tell you that I can't
let myself
love you
anymore

I look at myself in the
dressing room mirror

I don't recognize the
bitter mouth
big sore eyes

I ended up buying a big black
winter coat
for eighty dollars

you tell me you like it

I'll hide from you
underneath it

and cry in your truck until
one a.m.

do you know what you do to me?

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

1 posted 2000-07-09 11:45 PM

~Jennie May,...wow, thank you for letting me read these thoughts. How very well written and presented. Held with messages. Thanks again. Definately voting for this. *Peace.

lotharingia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany

2 posted 2000-07-10 11:08 AM

I enjoyed this a lot. I really like the way you express yourself.

Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

3 posted 2000-07-10 11:18 AM

Jennie, that one surprised me, went so much farther than the title. Loved the sound of it, and very good expression.

"If a man moves you to feel like a woman,
the least you can do is let him."
Merrit Malloy

Jamie
Member Elite

since 2000-06-26

Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

4 posted 2000-07-10 11:40 AM

I am impressed.
Very good image.
I can just see you sitting outside in that big black coat.
Hiding.
So sad.

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".

Hardrock
Senior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA

5 posted 2000-07-10 04:57 PM

Well this poem has just about all of it: Confusion, anger, blame, hurt, self-loathing....nice work, you covered it all. Hardrock

Deborah1
Senior Member

since 2000-06-22

Posts 653
New Hampshire

6 posted 2000-07-10 06:21 PM

Very interesting piece, I agree with Hardrock, covers alot, enjoyed the read!!!

Wren
Member

since 2000-07-05

Posts 312

7 posted 2000-07-10 07:02 PM

I'm speechless! (It's the truth, my mouth is hanging open) This poem touched a cord in me, prehaps becase I've had that same experiance. The writing was superb, incredible! Please tell me more about your inspiration for writing this haunting poem!
-Wren
P.S. I truly am humbled!

jennie may*
Member

since 2000-06-17

Posts 122

8 posted 2000-07-11 01:46 AM

Thanks so much, Wren, for the reply...that's probably the best one I have recieved. Well, this poem is the expression of an actual night in my life at the end of last year in December. My significant other turned out to be unfaithful to me, and at this point I had only known it for one day...there were so many thoughts spinning through my head on how I was going to confront him about this...and I have a craving to shop when I am upset...you can probably relate. So I hope that helps you out! Thanks again for the awesome reply

"We have all these galaxies inside of us. And if we don't enter those in art, then I don't understand the point in doing anything."-Sam Shepard

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