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Dark Poetry #2
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Sanity's Last Prayer
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Sanity's Last Prayer |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven 
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Sanity's Last Prayer A fool, born of a heart seared and beaten, from thy clouded perception darkness grows, devouring dreams - happiness eaten attended by pain the sad thoughts impose poison laced memories to sicken your brain hiding was the antidote which you chose. Still, thoughts of her have driven you insane Checking the door you can not find the key, cries become sobs as strength begins to wane Still she's there as you lose all reality, you wonder did she ever really care, have red stained eyes ever blurred for thee. Could she have known the depths of your despair- Of the growing madness is she aware? Drowning in regrets that thunder in your ear Lucid thoughts submerged in thick black remorse into which no hopeful light can seem to peer Angels offer a ride on hope's white horse you decline and speak not a words farewell Your darker side has chosen its own course Blindly riding a stallion born in hell You strike out for a dark and distant shore mindless of warnings the angels did foretell There you hear voices never heard before They say you fool, God doesn't really care Leave me you scream - My mind is not your whore! If in Thy will, begins your mournful prayer, My Lord my God, this broken man repair. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Jamie,this is astounding my sweet friend  Keep writing and I'll keep reading Excellent!! Loved every single line!! Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive, my body goes on, my spirit has died and I though alive, feel dead inside. "Rose Petal" |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Jamie this is incredible. Are you feeling this much pain? If you are, I am so sorry, and I know exactly how bad it can get. Never think you are a fool to love..Take care. Extremely powerful words. |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
What an extraordinary piece! Absolutely astounding; oppressive in it’s black despair. I hope it is not about how you feel right now, though. Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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demoninlove Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 211Dehradun |
Very very good! Deepak |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Maree- Thanks, you are most kind as always, not to mention so helpful. Catalinamoon- Thank you for your concern, and most days I am very fine , the days of pain this intense have mostly passed by. And I shall remain a fool for love...lol lotharingia- Thanks for the reply- and see above.... demoninlove- Thank you, I appreciate it. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Promethus...I can add nothing to what has already been said about this poem. Excellent (well, I did add something). Hardrock |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods |
If in Thy will, begins your mournful prayer, My Lord my God, this broken man repair. *********** Loved that stanza, though the whole poem was great. Yours truly ~Broken~ De profundis clamo ad te Domine! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Wow,...Oh My. Definately dark here. That and so much more. "Your darker side has chosen its own course",...shoot, that's scary. Gosh do you know how to write about this. You'll have to excuse my lack of ability to explain my reaction to this poem in any comprehendable form,...that Dramamine kinda makes me sleepy.  . *Peace. |
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Siren's Song Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 17 |
beyond superb.. once more.. btw: do I get points for being your biggest fan?? lol |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Hardrock- Thanks for the "excellent' review Broken- Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading SpirFire- Hope you are feeling better..lol - and yes, I am familiar with the subject. But Love the light much better! SS - no points-lol Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
I am just in awe...this was something!! I can feel the pain, very explicit, I will be hoping the pain subsides, love can really hurt..sorry for your sadness |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Deborah--- Thank you very much dear. And I am very well also...8-) Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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**STAR** Junior Member
since 2000-07-10
Posts 26San Diego, Ca. |
I love it! I can feel the torment that you are feeling. I have been there before. |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Got to send this one back up! Great writing! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
WOW......this was excellent writing Jamie, from your lips to the heavens may that prayer be answered~ |
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a_little_girl Member
since 2000-05-08
Posts 307San Alejandro, HI, USA |
Well done. Dark, and foreboding but a well done poem about the insanities of a relationship...  --Chibi |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Well done hon!! I can't add any more either it's all been said, but shoot it's dark and strong and almost a sermon, wonderful work I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Whoa! Jamie! WOW! Yes, dark is the word my friend...there are some lines in this that just grab me...in hurry right now (lol) but I shall be back to read this very carefully indeedy... later K |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Damn, I think you just scared me out of dating..lol. Seriously, I love the lines "Angels offer a ride on hope's white horse you decline and speak not a words farewell Your darker side has chosen its own course" To look hope straight on and sink back down. I've been there... loved this poem. ~Krissie "I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary... making u lose ur way. I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel." ~Touch and Go |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks All! And no fear AniKay--- I am not demented at all--lol--(i hope) Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
Hi Prometheus! I must say, this is an exquisite piece of work! Provocative and simply divine. I loved it ... Cheers, verve |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Hi Verve- Glad you liked it. And welcome to Passions. I have read one of your poems and it was great. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Eve New Member
since 2000-07-16
Posts 3 |
I really loved this poem am new here, and yours was the first i read! Great stuff!!! ... Eve ...:) |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Why thank you Eve, I am so honored to be your "first"...... I look forward to reading some of yours in the future. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Wow, this is simply awesome work! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks so much Eagle -- I am equally gald you enjoyed it. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Magebeast Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 60 |
"Angels offer a ride on hope's white horse you decline and speak not a words farewell Your darker side has chosen its own course" This line really spoke to me. Outstanding... |
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Nancee Junior Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 45Australia |
"My mind is not your whore!" If only this were true. Brilliant. [This message has been edited by Nancee (edited 07-20-2000).] |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
I do not know what else to say . You just have a way with words my friend. Awesome!!!!!!!1 Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Magebeast- I am glad you were here to listen. Thanks. Nancee-- You thinks so??.....lol--- You make me blush... xeonox--thanks so very much. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Well..this is really good!! Extremely good.. there are some magnificent lines in this poem...along with such dark passion! I am impressed!  |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
This is good very good. Stunning to the extreme. Why hasn't it been listed for publication? I'd vote for it. Be well Kethry. "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- Cole |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
WELL EXPRESSED.... I AM IMPRESSED.... and now I'm lost completely for more words... regards to you Jamie, Sudhir |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Kethry--- Thank you so much, I had already submitted several so this one was left out. PDV and Sudhir--- I feel I have accomplished a coup-de-maître here...lol---Impressed the DeVine One and left the articulate one speechless.... I feel I have "arrived"..lol ..just kidding.. thanks to both of you for the kindness you each have shown me. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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