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Dark Poetry #2
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Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA

0 posted 2000-07-05 09:03 PM


Jackals

The loneliness comes,
with sharpened claws,
Like jackals.

Rendering my flesh,
leaving only the skeleton of my soul,
To bleach in the desert of my reality.

I am aloneā€¦..so alone.


Marv Hardin  07/04/00


© Copyright 2000 Marv Hardin - All Rights Reserved
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
1 posted 2000-07-05 09:11 PM


Ouch, the pain of being alone. Its so hard. Vivid description to say the least.
S



"If a man moves you to feel like a woman,
the least you can do is let him."
Merrit Malloy

sash
Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 125

2 posted 2000-07-05 09:17 PM


Hauntingly sad! Hope You don't feel that way...I enjoyed it very much!!!


         ~Sash~


SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

3 posted 2000-07-05 09:19 PM


~The image you have poetically painted for me is frighteningly real.  To be that alone, is to truly know pain.  Goodness,...*sigh*, wonderfully written little piece. Take care you. *Peace.
Cyndey
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 84
Arkansas
4 posted 2000-07-05 09:34 PM


hardrock...
I know all too well how lonilness can feel like its consuming you...
great way to put it into words...
Cyndey


"All that we see or seem, Is but a dream within a dream"
Edgar Allan Poe

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
5 posted 2000-07-06 09:21 AM


*sniff* This one broke my heart, Marvin!
What a desolate image.
Do you really feel like this? I hope not.

Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


Rex
Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 482
Houston, Texas
6 posted 2000-07-06 01:51 PM


Great work Marv!!! Excellent images and a terrific title.  Super my friend.
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
7 posted 2000-07-06 03:30 PM


i know how you feel my friend. i to am alone i'm going out with a girl i don't get along if and i can't break up with her right now cause my best friend is going out with her friend and if i break up with her it puts my friend in the middle. and i can't do that to him.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


Wren
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312

8 posted 2000-07-06 04:07 PM


This poem screams in agony! This is incredible......Wow!
Deborah1
Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653
New Hampshire
9 posted 2000-07-06 11:35 PM


Wow, very sharp image, I see the heart exposed, excellent work!! Hope your not sad though. This said alot...Just remember anytime your sad you think of my head in that icebox....(lol) Deb1
Xeonox
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764
CA, USA
10 posted 2000-07-07 01:26 AM


Critical thinkers such as ourselves have experienced your pain. Great words.

sgreybe
Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 209
London, UK
11 posted 2000-07-07 02:13 PM


Dear Marv

Great, touching piece my friend.  This one really hurts... been there too...

Loved it... keep it up
I always enjoy your work...

Luv Sylvia

ChibiDeathscythe
Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128

12 posted 2000-07-07 02:53 PM


Very vivid and sad. Excellent work. Very imaginitive way of describing a desperate loneliness........
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