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Dark Poetry #2
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Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas

0 posted 2000-06-29 01:11 PM


The sadness in the air
The coldness is his stare
He wants me to go with him
When the lights dim
His face is evil, yet sad
His life has been so bad
He says he can take away my pain
With one touch of his flame
Together we can become one
But only if I come
To take his hand in mine
To make my life so fine
I see no evil in his face
He just wants to take me to his place
I wonder what life would be....
If I let "Death" take me!!


Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had
Ahhhhhh you gave me light


© Copyright 2000 Mags - All Rights Reserved
LarBear
Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 138
Kingston, New York
1 posted 2000-06-29 01:28 PM


Goodness Girl,
What a way to focus in on the grimreaper.
There is a lot of darkness, in many of the poems I read on here.
Try to see the light of life rather than the darkness of death.
Ya`ll people scare the heck out of me. There are many things life has to offer; only one from death.

Other than that, It’s a good poem that describes the haunting of death.

Love Keeps the World Smiling

LarBear

Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
2 posted 2000-06-29 01:31 PM


Awwww sorry Larry, I didnt mean to scare ya!     Just thoughts written is all!!


Peace


Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had
Ahhhhhh you gave me light


JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
3 posted 2000-06-29 01:33 PM


surprising ending. I don't know why I didn't think of your "lurur" (is that a word) as Death, but you sure described It well. Because i don't think it's fair to say him or her.

Joy

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
4 posted 2000-06-29 02:00 PM


Yikes, surprise ending..That was great.
Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
5 posted 2000-06-29 02:06 PM


The world would be a little darker without your light in it.  Well done.....Hardrock
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
6 posted 2000-06-29 11:56 PM


loved the piece you never seem to let me down your a great writer i only wish to be so able to leave death behind and handle it. but instead i must live within its such gloomy walls.  

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


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