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Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA

0 posted 2000-06-28 09:55 PM


ANGEL OF DEATH

Am I the Angel of Death?  Death does not follow me, but pushes ahead, destroying the ones I try to love. I used to think it coincidence, but it has happened far too often, far too close to be such.  Now, I can even predict it.  I can see death in faces…..and I know.  And yet, I can do nothing to stop it.

I am always there when death comes.  

I fear love now.  What I once thought wondrous and beautiful has become terrifying.  Why has this burden been visited upon me?  What did I do to deserve this?  Is this my punishment for sins long past?  Am I to wander this earthly hell, forever condemned to watch those whom I love suffer?

I don’t belong with people anymore.  I cannot love anymore……I cannot.  And no one must love me…..not if they are to avoid the horror that comes with my return of that love.  

Will my end come soon?  Will I run forward, embrace Death as a comrade, and be enveloped into that never ending slumber to which I have sent so many?  

I have no fear of Death.  I have met Death, looked it in the eye and saw nothing.  No glimmer, no hint of what lies beyond.  Death and I are partners, in some twisted menage-a-trois with life.  So interwoven into the fabric of existence that one cannot be without the others being also.  Oh how I long to be free from this unholy alliance, this ungodly bond.  Free me now, Death.  Embrace me.  Set me free.

Hardrock 10/19/99


© Copyright 2000 Marv Hardin - All Rights Reserved
tearsinheaven
Junior Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 18

1 posted 2000-06-28 10:53 PM


wow, that was a serious poem! good job. i have an intimate relationship with death too and i have to say, you are excellent. you kow what they say, great pain makes great art. i hope you are ok and live to write tons more!
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
2 posted 2000-06-28 11:32 PM


Hardrock, this pulled at my heart hon.  Is this made up or do you really feel this way?
No one on Earth can be the angel of death in my beliefs, just bad timing.  Sorry if you feel this way for punishing yourself is awful and never ending, though you should end.  If you wanna talk 'e' me hon..
*hugs*   Damned good writing though  

I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
3 posted 2000-06-28 11:33 PM


Hey you, I hope you are not as depressed as all this. Its a great poem, but worries me..
Catalinamoon

Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
4 posted 2000-06-29 08:48 AM


Thanks Isis and Cat for your concern.  The date at the bottom may reveal something.  As for the question as to whether I believe I'm really the Angel of Death?  Welllll.....let's just say I don't date much.  (PS....To all who sent e-mail, thanks.  To the guy in Pittsburg, NO!!  I will NOT come visit your mother-in-law)  Hardrock
Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
5 posted 2000-06-29 09:51 AM


Excellent poem Hardrock!    I think most of us have this one-on-one with the death creature.  Best part is.... we are still here!  

Good Work
Peace


Once there was a darkness
Deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had
Ahhhhhh you gave me light


LarBear
Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 138
Kingston, New York
6 posted 2000-06-29 11:42 AM


Whew..

Im glad I got through that one.
Excellent play on words. The poem reminds me of a time,I shared those same type of feelings. I wounder what I might have wrote then too.

Its nice to still have you around, to share your feelings with your poetry.

Love keeps the world smiling

LarBear

kynder
Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537
Tallahassee, Florida
7 posted 2000-06-29 11:43 AM


some call me strange cuz i say i welcome death.  but then i will be done with this world and its members that play games.  no longer will i have time to kill wondering what it was all for.  excellent introspective work here, marv.  so since you wrote it last year, may i ask why you posted it now?


kynder


Across the gateway of my heart,
I wrote "No Thoroughfare!!"
But love came laughing by and
Cried "I enter everywhere!!!"

Herbert Shipman

Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
8 posted 2000-06-29 12:18 PM


I think we all play with death, or the idea of it, at some time in our lives.  In our darkest despair it seems the only way out.  Perhaps the posting now was to let others see that, despite what we may feel at any given time, there is always hope.  I chose to not use a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  Besides, Kynder, I would never have met you....and all the others here in Dark Passions.  And that would have been a very big loss to my life and all I have left to do.  Thanks...Hardrock
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
9 posted 2000-06-29 11:46 PM


hardrock i'm faced with death every day i walk out this door. cause anything might happen and i use to be scared of it but after a few years i lost alot of loved ones and now i'm not scared because i have people up there waiting to love me again. enjoyed the read and you touched my darkside well anymore it seem to be the only side of me.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-


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