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Dark Poetry #2
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Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

0 posted 2000-06-19 08:11 PM


Window panes come crashing down
Amidst the tears and pain
Vanishing hopes are gone and flew away
Up above through twilight
Shadows cast across the floor
Reflections of the past
Trembling thoughts of one
Dwelling deep within the soul
A mystical sense of reality
Captured by the craze
All in bewilderment
Of the shock in the wave
Creatures of the dimness
Chattering amongst the green
Everything slows in stillness
What is this we see????
< !signature-->

"Creation of woman from the rib of Man: She was not made from his head to top him; nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him; but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved." -Unknown



[This message has been edited by Justbleu (edited 06-20-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Bridgette C. Morgan Schroeder - All Rights Reserved
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

1 posted 2000-06-19 08:40 PM


~JustBleu,...this is a most chilling piece. I am not sure what you intended to portray, but I have an image,...a little scene here in my head produced from your poetic words...that sit me right in my own room....feeling this way.  What I have taken from this,..I have felt more than once.  Very nicely done. Take care. *Peace.
E. Benjamin Roy
Junior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 12

2 posted 2000-06-19 09:10 PM


A nightmareish tale you tell...I love it
Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
3 posted 2000-06-20 01:24 AM


OMG this sounds like the eye of a Twister, or an internal turmoil.
no matter, I got what I wanted from it. and that was good.

Joel.

I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
4 posted 2000-06-20 02:36 AM


i have felt this piece in my heart and it gave me a sad little joy how ever that me sound it was a great piece from you.

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul



Munda
Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands
5 posted 2000-06-20 07:04 AM


I'm with Joel on this one. sounds like sounds like the eye of a Twister to me. great writing !
gothicmoth
Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89

6 posted 2000-06-20 04:02 PM


Creepy, yet intriguing. Both are why I enjoyed it.
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
7 posted 2000-06-21 02:59 PM


Wow I didn't know I'd get such positive response!!  I'm glad you like it!!!!  This is one of my favorites and newest pieces!!

Thank You sooo much!!
Bridgette  


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
8 posted 2000-06-23 11:37 PM


I am interested in seeing what other things poeple think this may be!!!!    For I am not even sure!!!! The eye of a twister is a good one!!!  This one is a bit different from my usual writing but my last few pieces have been strange to me!!
Bridgette


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
9 posted 2000-06-24 09:03 AM


A mystical sense of reality
Captured by the craze
All in bewilderment
Of the shock in the wave
Creatures of the dimness
Chattering amongst the green
Everything slows in stillness

very intense poem. agony at its most extreme. wow...



A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
10 posted 2000-06-24 10:27 PM


Brian Thank You!!  INTENSE is good!!

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2000-07-17 12:38 PM


JustBleu~
Just bopping around ....
this is pretty good ....

I prefer your romanticizing tales
but believe in diversity.

You veered with this one -
way to go !
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
12 posted 2000-07-17 12:23 PM


Thank You Marge!!!  
Bridgette


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
13 posted 2000-07-17 06:40 PM


This gives me a sense of internal turmoil, despair, a whirlwind of emotion, searching for some direction. Great writing!

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown



Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
14 posted 2000-07-18 09:11 AM


Eagle One you really pick up on things....very insightful you are!!!!  
Thank You for telling me!!!!
Bridgette


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Verve
Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348
Singapore
15 posted 2000-07-18 01:25 PM


JustBleu,

U definitely have my vote on this one! Amazing work ...

verve~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
16 posted 2000-07-18 01:31 PM


How did I miss this before?? This is great, I feel the lost hope, maybe thinking of a past love, and knowing it cannot be. I have a problem with relating everyones poems to my own life though, so you may mean something else. Either way, it was an excellent poem, and I like this style as well as your others.



"If a man moves you to feel like a woman,
the least you can do is let him."
Merrit Malloy

Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
17 posted 2000-07-18 10:29 PM


Bridgette...I too missed this one somehow....but I'm glad I found it.  To me, it was "soup"...you put in all the ingredients and out came poetic food for the soul.  Loved it....Hardrock
Wren
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312

18 posted 2000-07-18 10:48 PM


Very good! Great!
-Wren

The thread of destiny
Unknown by anyone
Unseen by anyone
Winds around your heart
Moist with tears
-Vampire Princess Miyu Theme

Magebeast
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 60

19 posted 2000-07-20 03:42 AM


Wow....just wow.
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
20 posted 2000-07-21 12:00 PM


I really enjoyed writing this one.....it was a pleasant surprise...this picture it created in my mind!!! Thanks to everyone!!!!  

Bridgette


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
21 posted 2000-07-24 09:53 AM


Shh...just bumping this up!!  
Cuz, I wanted to share this with more people!!
Bridgette  


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

L Tiuch
Member
since 2000-02-04
Posts 151
NY
22 posted 2000-07-24 03:29 PM


Definitely a storm of turmoil here.  Great work...I'm checking for some of your other work.  Linda
Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
23 posted 2000-09-05 08:28 PM


Thanks Linda for the comments!!!

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
24 posted 2000-09-06 07:55 AM


Justbleu,
This reminds me of a rip, Crashing on rocks, dragging down, struggling for air, returning to the place of injury. Well done.
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Justbleu
Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)
25 posted 2000-09-10 08:49 PM


Hey Kethry!! Cool interpretation....

Thanks
Bridgette  


"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

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