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Dark Poetry #2
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Click
Member
since 2000-06-11
Posts 202
USA

0 posted 2000-06-15 09:31 PM



see
meet
observe    
consider
approach

speak
hear
coverse
share
talk

ask
tell
reveal
cofide
listen

trust
agree
compare
plan
live

decieve
lie
mistrust
hurt
apologize

reach
grasp
try
understand
hope

forgive
continue
believe
learn
LOVE!
< !signature-->

              Click


[This message has been edited by Click (edited 06-15-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Click - All Rights Reserved
Click
Member
since 2000-06-11
Posts 202
USA
1 posted 2000-06-15 09:33 PM


Too many verbs???

  Click

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

2 posted 2000-06-15 10:18 PM


~Absolutely not!!!  Not for me. .  This read so well...such a stringy strand of verbacuous writing. (OK,...I made that word  up hehe.). So sad though too...where this leads.  The LOVE at the end though lifts your heart after reading the part about decieve...etc.  Well written. *Peace.
gothicmoth
Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89

3 posted 2000-06-15 11:48 PM


These words follow the natural progression of things and the title is perfect.
lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
4 posted 2000-06-16 09:47 AM


No, not too many verbs! Perfect as it is. The sequence of verbs which you relate to love makes the poem really strong and original. And very true, too. Love it!  

 Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
5 posted 2000-06-17 01:50 AM


when I first looked I said What? then I followed the strand and found myself really enjoying this immensely.
I particularly enjoyed the ending.

forgive
continue
believe
learn
LOVE!

it shows the depth of true love in forgiveness, continuing upon love's adventure, believing in it, learning more of it's depth, and finally result, in a love more than first started.
this is what it seems to me.
if not that's ok, it is to me.
just thank you for it.


Joel.




 I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
6 posted 2000-06-18 09:02 PM


this is another good piece of your work i hope to read many more of your poems. keep up your views and live your life to find in the end  that LOVE.

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul



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