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Dark Poetry #2
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Portia
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157


0 posted 2000-06-15 01:47 PM


Be my prose, my logic, my sense. Be my literate thought, my voice of reason. Be my happiness with an eye toward the future, my rational contentment.

be my poetry
rhymed or unrhymed
rhythmic or staggering
my soul's passion
my love affair with
the word of venus
be my epic creation
be my creative muse

be my voice of song
be my heart's desire
be my longing's reason
be my soul on fire
be my joyous rhapsody
be my thoughtless need
be my senseless pounding heart
be my love's random seed

Be my mind, my soul, my heart
be my sense, my smile, my ravaged joy

be everything you are


[This message has been edited by Portia (edited 06-15-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Portia - All Rights Reserved
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

1 posted 2000-06-15 01:58 PM


~Portia,...this poem to me just seems like a perfect one to hear read aloud.  I like it lots.  The ending says it all....and such a wonderful thing for the keeper to be holding.
~be everything you are~ *Peace.

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
2 posted 2000-06-16 07:08 AM


I agree, this really is a great love poem, especially with thtat unexpected twist at the end. While reading it I thought it was about a wish for an unknown person, or the urgent desire for a new lover to be all of those things, but then you show us that you (or whoever it is in the poem) already have found this person who is all of these things to you, and you are sinply thanking them for being what they are.
BTW, is it intentional that the beginning is on one line?

 Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

3 posted 2000-06-16 07:44 AM


Wow! By the time I got to:

be my senseless pounding heart
be my love's random seed

My heart was pounding along at a faster pace!  Liked this one Portia.  Thanks!

Portia
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157

4 posted 2000-06-16 12:43 PM


Thank you, everyone. Lotharingia, yes, it was intentional that the first stanza be on one line-- my desire was to display prose, poetry, and music (which of course only amounts to rhymed poetry here) each in a different segment, to display how love consumes the mind, heart, and soul.

I am very glad everyone enjoyed it. Thank you. This one meant a lot to me.

Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
5 posted 2000-06-17 12:06 PM


God I'd love to have a person to say this to.
"Be every thing you are"

Joel.

I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
6 posted 2000-06-17 03:43 PM


errm. Now that you say it, it's obvious. Sorry I missed that one!

Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
7 posted 2000-06-18 08:46 PM


Another great poem from you i wish to read more and more. i few points in what a person is are always unclear but that helps them to be them with that little mystery

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul



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