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Dark Poetry #2
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Fire Circle
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Fire Circle |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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~Fire Circle~ It's you there,...in the middle of all my hate,...dancing. Burning the surrounding circle,...feet dancing to avoid the flames. Cries of now regret slip from a mouth once so full of filth. They travel far but never on forgiving ears, and the stones underneath just make the dancing all that more painful. The fires crackle and burn and snap at you with their anger. Biting you and all your dirt,...your sick and rotting insides, so corrupt,...so insanely swallowed. The wind whips through,...sending sweeps of sand across your bare and weak legs, and you're not sure that you can take anymore. In your sorry circle,...there your pathetic frame asking for forgiveness,... until the rain saves you,...because I will not. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
PHEW an intense poem...very dark. The fires crackle and burn and snap at you with their anger. Biting you and all your dirt,...your sick and rotting insides, so corrupt,...so insanely swallowed. The wind whips through,...sending sweeps of sand across your bare and weak legs, and you're not sure that you can take anymore. Though I do believe that hate can cause as much or even more harm to yourself than the person it is directed at. Still, great poem. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde ----- |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Brian,...I totally agree with what you said about hate....but sometimes those feelings are hard to digest. Thanks for reading. *Peace. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I echo what brian said... very intense... I particularly liked the ending... In your sorry circle,...there your pathetic frame asking for forgiveness,... until the rain saves you,...because I will not ....I liked the effect of tranferred epithet here ...and the effective last phrase... Only I believe forgiving is a better option instead of holding hatred up in one's head... nice work, regards, Sudhir.< !signature--> My heart is pounding, my stomach's inside out I'm feeling kind-a-shaky, my mind is full of doubt All I ever think about, is fearing fear itself, Wish I could unscrew my head and put it on the shelf Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Don't know what I'm looking at, the lights are all too bright My brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor Sweep 'em up. Throw 'em away, don't want 'em anymore Clouds race across the sky, day turns into night, Still there are the questions, no answers in sight Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Starin' out the window, everything is just too bright Brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor, Wish I could unscrew my head, and kick it out the door... You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange ~ Strange ~ Joe Satriani (Flying in a Blue Dream) [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 06-15-2000).] |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
I have felt a fire just like this... very true, SpitFire, the feelings are hard to digest-- even harder to purge. I love the phrase, "Cries of now regret..." It's always very easy to regret pain afterward. Sometimes it's very, very hard to avoid that sense of "too little, too late." I love the way your speaker expresses this. I speak from both ends of this experience, so I have mixed emotions on this subject. But your poem is an excellent portrayal of the seething anger hatred entails. The circle is a terrible place to be, whether inside or out. |
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LenMcC1 Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 68 |
Hey I usually don't post replies cause a lot of poems on this network I don't really like that much, but I thought yours was really well done. I love the images that you project in this piece. I as well write many dark pieces such as this. Anyways great piece. |
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Click Member
since 2000-06-11
Posts 202USA |
Very near perfect desciption of that most fearful emotion!! Thanks for the view into that abyss!! May we never be pulled or pushed into it! Very intense and well articulated. Click |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Great work here SF, strong feelings... But like said above I too believe hate is a bad feeling, creates bad karma, and that hating kills the hater inch by inch. I know you said you agree with hate is bad. Hope venting here and a little joy has washed those feelings away by now..  I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
This is one very powerful piece SpitFire! I don't know that you have to forgive but you do need to let go of the hate. It will eat you up eventually. take care! God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Just like to thank all that took the time. This one like all others just fell out of me....like I said before....it's like throwing up my thoughts. Yuck,..but the only way to explain how I just sit at the pc with a blank screen and type away...dont copy off of paper what I have written down...it just comes out. *Sigh*,...well,...all this talk about hate here,...see, I can't ever forget what provoked this poem...ever. It's sick and twisted and will burn me inside forever. I do however agree that the hate will hurt the one hating in the end or atleast more that the one hated....so I'll take Eagle's advice and not forgive..but atleast try working on releasing the hate. So, thank you all for reading, I appreciate it. Please take care. *Peace. |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
We are made of both light and dark, one without the other is no good. love/hate. I agree with Eagle, to some degree, I do believe that hate has a purpose in live. Anyway if you want to know more on this wild idea just E me. Love U. Joel I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Spit Fire, Powerful....deep....wow. Great writing. Glad to see you getting it all out on paper. I hope it helps you. I really do. Take care, LW Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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