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gothicmoth
Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89


0 posted 2000-06-15 12:54 PM


In darkness walks
the lonely child,
if only for a moment.
Her white feet fly
across the dew
and lucky clover.
She slips and falls,
but seraphim catch her.
Beware sweet angels,
you hold life-in-death
in your arms.
Everything is over.


© Copyright 2000 gothicmoth - All Rights Reserved
SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

1 posted 2000-06-15 01:06 AM


~Ok, a scene well depicted....a haunting little piece.  Oooh,...the ending is like a door just slamming in your face when you read it. Wow...effective. *Peace.
lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
2 posted 2000-06-15 03:25 AM


I'll stick to one post this time, promised! You never cease to surprise me! Is this one about the transient nature of happiness? It's absolutely wonderful!  
Am I allowed to save  your poems on my hard disk to read them over and over?

 Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


gothicmoth
Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89

3 posted 2000-06-15 09:40 AM


Thank you SpitFire, lotharingia. This piece is older than "Papyrus Immortal."  It's between 10 and 12 years old. More often than not I get an image in my head and a poem is formed by my trying to describe that image. I'm not always concerned that there be a meaning there, but if people see one as they read my work then I'm all the more flattered.
As for saving them? If you really want to read them over and over and over *grin* Just as long as it has my name on it I don't mind at all.

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
4 posted 2000-06-15 09:46 AM


You know...considering my short vocabulary I'm going to run out of compliments for you.   Every poem you write is excellent in so many ways...so if I just start saying "Well done   " it's because I lack the words to explain how great your poem is. lol I often do the same thing...images in my mind are often the basis or a portion of my poem if not the whole poem. I live in the world of imagination. Tis a good place to be...

"Well done   "
lol...keep them coming my friend!

D.E.

 Listen to your heart for it knows the way even when you don't.

~*Angel of Darkness*~

"So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No, the big moments are gonna come...you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you really are. You'll see what I mean..." -Whistler

*+Daughter of Darkness+*


Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
5 posted 2000-06-16 02:09 AM


Very interesting,

"She slips and falls,
but seraphim catch her."

Ane with the highest order to catch her.

most interesting, and great.

Joel.




 I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

6 posted 2000-06-16 08:12 AM


When I first read this it reminded me of the novel by James Patterson "When the Wind Blows". Then, upon reading it again, it left yet another image... excellent!
lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
7 posted 2000-06-16 10:37 AM


Yep!
"by gothicmoth", always  
BTW, that's rather a novel name, why do you call yourself that? Are you a goth? You can't be a moth. Or are you just into moths and goths? Or gothic lit? Or gothic art? Or is it in the sense of Visigoth or Ostrogoth? Or death's head moths?
I'm sorry,   I'm very nosy, and you don't have to answer that!


 Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


gothicmoth
Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89

8 posted 2000-06-16 10:57 AM


D.E., you flatter me. Imagination is a wonderful thing. I hope the people of this world never lose it.
Joel, I have to admit I was not thinking about the hierarchy when I wrote it, but it adds a lot more to the poem. Thank you for pointing it out.
taramw, I've never read that novel you mentioned, but now you have me curious and I will have to seek it out. Thank you.
lotharingia, yes. *wink* I can be whatever I want to be *grin*

Portia
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157

9 posted 2000-06-17 02:28 PM


I like this one... I love the apocalyptic feel to it. I can't help but picture a small vampire child in the arms of these white-light beings. gothicmoth does have such a wonderful way of playing with images  
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
10 posted 2000-06-18 12:36 PM


another great piece of your work. only if i only had the years of knowledge you do. it bites to be 17 and write like i do (all the time) because kids and teens my age we'll at least most of them don't understand it.

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
11 posted 2000-07-02 05:27 PM


gothicmoth,
I'm bringing this one back "to life" because I'm sulking: you never post any new poems  
Where are you anyway? *sniff*

Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
12 posted 2000-07-02 05:43 PM


Thanks Uta....somehow I missed this one on the first go-round.  Great imagery here, GM.  Do keep posting.  Hardrock
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