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Dark Poetry #2
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| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Wrong |
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FJiznit Junior Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 24 |
Lust Left me dying in the dust Love, could've been But it was wrong She said Lost Never mine, still she's gone Bleeding heart cries These bloody tears Of loss Grief Only friend, in misery It could never be I was a fool It seems Chance Had to be my last Our love lies in the past Still untouched By my hands Love This fruitless act of trust Seed dies in the dust It would never be Was I wrong to hope? |
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| © Copyright 2000 Nick Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
It's never wrong to hope. Hoping is one element that I believe keeps us alive. You know the saying though, better to have loved and lost than not loved at all. Or if love was just beyond your grasp this time, just hope and you just might reach it next time. (sorry if corny) Oh, and welcome to Dark Passions. You'll like it here.  Joy [This message has been edited by JOY 14 (edited 06-14-2000).] |
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Jeffyf Junior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 49Muncie, IN |
Beautiful first poem. Welcome to Dark Passions! I think that you will find yourself at home here. I did. I especially liked these lines: Lost Never mine, still she's gone Bleeding heart cries These bloody tears Of loss Hope to see more of you here. Jeffy |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Firstly Welcome!! Indeed it is never wrong to hope, I belive hope is the foundation of the soul... Great thought provoking first post. Hope to see more of you.. I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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kynder Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537Tallahassee, Florida |
i really like the form of this poem, the single word and then the statement after it... very clever!! excellent work!! thank you for posting at dark! welcome! kynder The years teach much which the days never know. Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
I like the structure of the poem, especially the subsection effect. Also the flow of the piece and how the simple definitions of the terms give the poem a desolate atmosphere. And all of the above, of course! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Hello. Welcome! Thought provoking poem. Was I wrong to hope? Nah... we should all hope, even if it doesn't come to fruition... hoping can sometimes make us the person we are and lead us to other opportunities... for when we are hoping our eyes are open Really like your style. Look forward to seeing more of your work. |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
Wellcome to Dark Passions my friend. you came in with a bang, this is a great layout. Like Kender I love the one word then the stanza behind it to back it up, great job... Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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