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| Dark Poetry #2 |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
the way ended there on writhing road in bone-decaying woods before I found where I was Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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| © Copyright 2000 uta waller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
a fork began where the road ended decadent wild orchids bare, amazing shadowed past, confusion, I stare, at strife, pained, hurt, angered, beware, of the beast within, cornered...  gosh, I made a mess of that one, true....I have gone crazy, and lost... But I found your poem a little beauty, a delight to read... My regards to you lotharingia.. My heart is pounding, my stomach's inside out I'm feeling kind-a-shaky, my mind is full of doubt All I ever think about, is fearing fear itself, Wish I could unscrew my head and put it on the shelf Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Don't know what I'm looking at, the lights are all too bright My brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor Sweep 'em up. Throw 'em away, don't want 'em anymore Clouds race across the sky, day turns into night, Still there are the questions, no answers in sight Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Starin' out the window, everything is just too bright Brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor, Wish I could unscrew my head, and kick it out the door... You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange ~ Strange ~ Joe Satriani (Flying in a Blue Dream) |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
For nothing here Or there Made up for the Path rotted out And brambles scratching Clouded skys And silent thunder Ending the magic of the day You can read so much into the few lines. I liked this a lot. So, like Sudhirlyer I produced my own taste from your words. (Hope you don't mind the little continuation.) Like creamy vanilla washed in rain Joy |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Well I'm glad that my poem sparked such a burst of creativity! Although I was quite surprised since I considered this to be finite. "The way ended there", the way ending being death, the "writhing road" the life of the "I" in the poem, the "bone decaying woods" their environment. "Before I found where I was", implying that this person failed to find any meaning or sense to their life. Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
lotharingia, I figured out that one, but then there is something that happens to spirits in the dark zone after death doesn't it? so the fork between heaven and hell, the road as seen had ended, then the clash of thoughts amazed (at brilliance of heaven), shadowed (at the darkness of hell)... the lost meaning of life earlier now dawned and hurt of the innser self (the beast) is turned into anger.... is this justified ???? hope so... anyway, that was my foolish try, maybe to make sense, see ya later... regards, sudhir |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
I love your poetry; you pack such dense meaning into such tight little phrases. This one has a dark, huge feel to it, almost apocalyptic. Fantastic imagery. |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
Unfortunately I met a person like this a few years ago, I wrote a short story about her, She had no idea where she was in life and never knew how she got there. it had never made sense to her at all. Dead at age 17. A great loss, a great potential. loved the poem it sparked more than creativity. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Sudhir, I wasn't criticising you! (would I do such a thing  !) And I had considered that you might be referring to something that happens thereafter, but I wasn't altogether sure, so I thought I'd broadcast what I meant first. I did like your continuation a lot, and I was (and still am) flattered that it inspired you so! Although I want to add again (and please don't think that you have to think what I think, poetry is subjective after all) that in this piece I really did want to convey the idea of an ultimate "end", with nothing else following it. Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Sudhir, I wasn't criticising you! (would I do such a thing !) And I had considered that you might be referring to something that happens thereafter, but I wasn't altogether sure, so I thought I'd broadcast what I meant first. I did like your continuation a lot, and I was (and still am) flattered that it inspired you so! Although I want to add again (and please don't think that you have to think what I think, poetry is subjective after all) that in this piece I really did want to convey the idea of an ultimate "end", with nothing else following it. Portia, Thanks. I really appreciate it that you like my stuff!! Joel, I'm glad that the poem meant something to you too, but I am very sorry about your friend who died so young. I'd be interested in reading your short story BTW, that sounds very interesting!!! < !signature--> Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland [This message has been edited by lotharingia (edited 06-16-2000).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Hey lotharingia, I am not even the slightest bothered and I did not take it as criticism at all. In fact when Iwrote the words, I was in some shell, later on when I tried making sense of it, I posted the explanation too... All smiles here, sorry to have troubled your heart... I repeat, I felt happy giving that explanation... and 'ultimate' end??? that is a food for the next few thoughts and maybe a future poem... Regards, Take Care, Sudhir. |
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