navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » Abstain
Dark Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic Abstain Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

0 posted 2000-06-12 02:28 PM


Heaven of gold
Hell of fire
I live life on an
Abstain wire
Surrounded by
Lies
Of a darkened
Heart
Diverged away
Not
Playing my part.


 I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul

© Copyright 2000 E'Val - All Rights Reserved
Necro Draconis
Member
since 2000-05-19
Posts 115

1 posted 2000-06-12 04:53 PM


I like this one Good Job

 Let nature guide your soul.

Follow the path that nature gives.

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

2 posted 2000-06-12 05:21 PM


~Jeremiah Johnson,...short and power-packed this one.  I too feel that I am surrounded by these very things. Nice writing...I like the strength in it and the format as well...well done. Hang in there,...take care of you. *Peace.
kynder
Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537
Tallahassee, Florida
3 posted 2000-06-12 06:59 PM


what an image you create here... like a tightrope walker, barely hanging on.  excellent work here, jj!!  

kynder

  The years teach much which the days never know. Ralph Waldo Emerson

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
4 posted 2000-06-13 06:10 AM


Jeremiah, how well you describe the feeling of alienation here. This is brilliant! I want to read it over and over again!

 Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
5 posted 2000-06-13 05:34 PM


Surrounded by
Lies
Of a darkened
Heart
Diverged away
Not
Playing my part.

I know the feeling, a powerful poem. dark and intense.

 ------------------------
"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

"Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Piccaso

"You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one". Edward Keating


Pablo Picasso


-----






Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
6 posted 2000-06-13 08:21 PM


I too know the feeling you've described here.
Wonderful imagery hon.  It always amazes me to see the way people describe their pain, the images they create... We all do it differently but are all gifted in our own little way.
Great powerful work here hon  

 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



gothicmoth
Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89

7 posted 2000-06-13 08:24 PM


I like how the rhythm and the sounds at the end make it seem like the wire just snapped.
Nice work.

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
8 posted 2000-06-16 11:30 AM


Thanks to all of you for your replies. i'm trying to keep up with all of your poems as well but it's hard cause by computer is down.

thank you all

Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
9 posted 2000-06-17 02:31 AM


hey JJ you got your PC in order yet?? this is a great poem, abstinence from life living it on the razors edge??
me to.
love the sound kid. haha
HHHHHHHOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLing great.

Joel..

 I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
10 posted 2000-06-18 11:08 PM


Yes joel the wolf I have got my computer back and i've never been this active on it. i love poems how they express the soul.

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul



Swåmp¤Faerÿie
Member
since 2000-03-29
Posts 358
Illinois
11 posted 2000-06-22 04:31 PM


Great rhythm,short,but it got the point acroos real quick =] i liked it. Very goo d=]

swamp

And there she weaves by night and day,
a magic web of colours gay.~Tennyson

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » Abstain

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary