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Dark Poetry #2
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Merciless Death (an attempt at dark fiction - comments please)
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Merciless Death (an attempt at dark fiction - comments please) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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His skull cracked from the weight, of viruses, rabid, galore Deluded, he blames my fate, Hazy, dark visions implore. Thoughts of the Devil, his evil ways, Lies, hatred for subversive gain, Acts inhumane, a lucidrous sound says, "Join satan's behemoth, forget other pain" Deprived of corrective thoughts, Unloved, despised, within cold prison cells, Ungainly measures, a wild snake spouts Picked up the pieces, decadent sea shells. Blew into a conch, no sound was heard, This silent world, none had spoken for a decade, In death's corner, end he no longer feared, Misery lacks company, friendship a mere facade. Years of rot, imprisoned for life, Even death shows no mercy, comes delayed, Deemed guilty of killing his treacherous wife, He awaits a living death, justice is delayed. ------------------------- I am attempting some dark fiction here, thinking from an imprisoned man's mind, 10 years in jail and rotting... please comment on this....thank you ------------------------- < !signature--> My heart is pounding, my stomach's inside out I'm feeling kind-a-shaky, my mind is full of doubt All I ever think about, is fearing fear itself, Wish I could unscrew my head and put it on the shelf Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Don't know what I'm looking at, the lights are all too bright My brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor Sweep 'em up. Throw 'em away, don't want 'em anymore Clouds race across the sky, day turns into night, Still there are the questions, no answers in sight Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Starin' out the window, everything is just too bright Brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor, Wish I could unscrew my head, and kick it out the door... You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange ~ Strange ~ Joe Satriani (Flying in a Blue Dream) [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 06-10-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
the baroque panopticum of images here really evokes a desprate man scramblig on the boarders of insanity. Awesome! Uta Lotharingia "Wir wollen nicht Wert und Sinn ... wir wollen Unwert und Unsinn" Raoul Hausmann |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
PHEW....I had to hide between the chair while reading this. dark very dark... loved the images, an edgy poem, wonderfully written. Look forward to your next dark venture. ------------------------ "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "Libraries gave us power Then work came and made us free What price now for a shallow piece of dignity" Nicky Wire, A design for Life. manic street preachers "Outside open mouthed crowds Pass each other as if they're drugged Down pale corridors of routine Where life falls unatoned " "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. |
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sweetthing61401 New Member
since 2000-06-07
Posts 8 |
I really liked this poem. The man has waited so long for death to come that it has almost drove him mad. Lovely work |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
I believe this is as close as you come to living death. Great work certainly dark hon. Well done  I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Lotharingia, brian, sweetthing61401, Isis, Thank you all for reading, and for your kind words... I had some fun writing this one, maybe the next brush with the dark side is just round the corner... Regards, sudhir |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
sudhir, very dark indeed. and yes this invokes a vision of insanity, one I've bordered in my time, death will not come even in this hour of his need, it is beyond. great visions here, dynamic poem. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Thanks Joel for your appreciative words... I usually do not write many dark ones, so my forays into these chambers are also limited in that sense. But I do read most stuff that is posted here... Thanks once again, regards, sudhir My heart is pounding, my stomach's inside out I'm feeling kind-a-shaky, my mind is full of doubt All I ever think about, is fearing fear itself, Wish I could unscrew my head and put it on the shelf Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Don't know what I'm looking at, the lights are all too bright My brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor Sweep 'em up. Throw 'em away, don't want 'em anymore Clouds race across the sky, day turns into night, Still there are the questions, no answers in sight Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Starin' out the window, everything is just too bright Brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor, Wish I could unscrew my head, and kick it out the door... You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange ~ Strange ~ Joe Satriani (Flying in a Blue Dream) |
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