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michellemckee
Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49
Tucson, AZ

0 posted 2000-07-26 09:22 PM


Tears slide silently from swollen eyes
Teeth tightly clenched to silence the cries
Fists, oh so tiny, balled up tight
Praying fervently for forgiveness tonight

To young to understand, yet it’s all too clear
It must be her fault, that’s what her mind hears
She doesn’t know why she is bad like she is
But mommy can’t forgive her all of her sins

Just one more night like so many past
Yet something is different, this is the last
Done is the fighting for survival each day
The debt is forgiven the price has been paid

Soon, very soon, Mommy will stop being so mad
Mommy will be happy and so will her Dad
And maybe in heaven she will learn to be good
If she only knew now, she certainly would

Peace slowly falls across a sweet little face
A soul gently rises to a heavenly place
The angels are singing a beautiful song
They take her small hand and carry her home  


< !signature-->

Life is not a spectator Sport!
Dance like no one's watching.
Love like it's never going to hurt.


[This message has been edited by michellemckee (edited 07-27-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Michelle Harriman - All Rights Reserved
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
1 posted 2000-07-27 05:02 AM


very well written...
I can picture that samll girl with her fists balled up tight...
such sad reality...but I must say very well written...the end has almost made me cry
well done...
are you serious about wanting a title for it?
glad you submitted for the book...




If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao


Heather Miller
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409
Bryan, Ohio USA
2 posted 2000-07-27 11:18 AM


Very good writing. I could feel what the little girl is going through. So sad for her  
A Title????????hhhmmmmmmm..........
how about........Final Forgiveness
Pretty lame huh. LOL
never mind I'm not good at that sort of thing
Anyway, VERY nice writing.
LITL,
Heather


With God all things are possible.


Geoffrey Sonnen
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 142
Reading, PA USA
3 posted 2000-07-27 01:06 PM


Hi Michelle, I thought this was excellent. To be honest, when I moved past the second stanza, the word that popped into my mind was "Forgiveness". Just thought I'd put my two cents in and give you my vote to boot !

Geoffrey

Flower Power
Junior Member
since 2000-07-26
Posts 29
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2000-07-27 01:20 PM


Hello.

Such a sad poem.  I'm not good with titles myself.  In my opinion, there's no way of properly titling this poem.  No title will do it justice.

Sorry I wasn't of more help.

Love,

Stephanie Lafleur


"Can anything be sadder than work unfinished? Yes: work never begun."
~Christina Rossetti

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2000-07-27 01:26 PM


If this went where I think it went then it's killing me I mean really killing me......I don't know....Heaven's Refuge.....maybe??
Whew! good write I am quite emotionally taken.

michellemckee
Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49
Tucson, AZ
6 posted 2000-07-27 01:40 PM


Thank you all for your suggestions and encouragement both here and in emails! I like the idea of forgiveness. It leaves the question of who indeed is forgiven the child, or perhaps as she departs to a happier place she herself forgives?

Thanks again!


Life is not a spectator Sport!
Dance like no one's watching.
Love like it's never going to hurt.

Heather Miller
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409
Bryan, Ohio USA
7 posted 2000-07-27 01:43 PM


That was a beautiful thought in your reply. I loved it.
LITL,
Heather

With God all things are possible.



Heather Miller
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409
Bryan, Ohio USA
8 posted 2000-07-27 02:26 PM


btw I forgot to mention I am honored you took my suggestion even though I thought it was lame.......LOL
LITL,
Heather

With God all things are possible.



Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
9 posted 2000-07-27 02:42 PM


Michelle, another beautiful one. and another vote. It may be the cowboy hat that swayed me, or was it the red hair...  

Parker

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

10 posted 2000-07-27 09:42 PM


Very well written, Michelle. Very touching.

Denise

michellemckee
Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49
Tucson, AZ
11 posted 2000-07-28 02:00 PM


Heather,

Forgiveness was in the back of my mind all along and the Finality of the poem was ever sdo evident. Just wonder why I hadn't put those together myself!!

Thank you again for the title.

Thank you Parker for the support! As your biggest fan it thrills me to know you read my verse as well!

Life is not a spectator Sport!
Dance like no one's watching.
Love like it's never going to hurt.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2000-07-30 10:14 PM


Michelle~
My heart breaks to read these reminders
of the victims of abuse ... but I read
them and I cry and I get involved !

Hoping everyone involves themselves in
the awareness programs that can help
to protect the children of our society.

Thanks for sharing this.
~*Marge*~




~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


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