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Agreement (unknown author)
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Agreement (unknown author) |
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Heather Miller Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409Bryan, Ohio USA 
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(Just really liked this and wanted to share. Found it in a prison newspaper from a pen pal) AGREEMENT I need to be close to someone at times in order to be happy and content. You are someone I want to feel good and happy to be with. To help that happen, we need to have an agreement. First off, I am who I am, I know I need to change but it must be my decision to change. If I only change in the way you think I should change, a wall will come between us. I'll resent myself and I'll resent you for trying to make me change. Now as to who obeys the other, I don't want to be bossed aroound and I'll try not to boss you around either. I don't need you to put me down, hurt me with words, or make fun at my expense. I know you have feelings about things and I want you to tell me how you feel. I'll try to hear your feelings, your wants and your needs. And I'll try to let you know that I hear you. I'll try to tell you when I can't do all I hear you expecting or asking of me. I'll try to tell you why I can't without feeling guilty or getting angry. I'll try to be tender when you are hurting. I'll try to be tender when we are being close. I will try to let you do your own thing and not box you in. When ever we can do something together that we both want to do, let's do it. I will try to be as honest with you as I can and be the kind of person you can count on. I need you to laugh with me but not at me. When I open up and tell you about my feelings, sometimes it will be like handing you a little baby bird. Please hold and handle with care. If these words say it like it is for you too............. LET'S MAKE AN AGREEMENT TO TRY!!!!!!!! UNKNOWN AUTHOR With God all things are possible. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Heather Anne Gambler/Price - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Geoffrey Sonnen Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 142Reading, PA USA |
I can't believe no one replied to this ! The person who wrote this sounds as if they have their head AND Heart together, allowing the person they care about to be their own person and yet stating that there is a commitment of Love, to be there to give comfort and tenderness and to never turn away and abandon. Sounds like real Love to me ! Honestly, thank you for sharing this Heather. More need to read this and understand those things which make up "True Love". I hope you receive more replies on this. This "Agreement" should be posted on every street corner. Love-in-waiting... Geoffrey PS This is a keeper. Hope you don't mind that I make several copies ! |
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Heather Miller Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409Bryan, Ohio USA |
Honey, make as many copies as you like. I love this and am so glad that you enjoyed it as well  My mother was a pen pal with a person in prison and he sent her one of there news papers and I fell in love with this one at the mere age of 11. Just wanted to share it because it touched me so. Thank you again for finding it and replying. LITL, Heather P.S. Love WILL find you one day, don't worry With God all things are possible. |
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Geoffrey Sonnen Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 142Reading, PA USA |
Well Heather, I have to open up my mouth again ( well, use my fingers anyway ). Just wanted to add some comments on the "Honesty", "Control", "Respect", and "Feelings" issues that were so eloquently shared in the "Agreement". I think that giving your Heart to someone can be one of the scariest things, (if not THE scariest) one can do in this life, especially if you have been abused, neglected, and/or abandoned in the past. Who could Trust again after such treatment ? It is True, and many forget, that everyone has their limit to what they can take and how much they will believe in someone else, after being betrayed so many times. We all desperately search for someone we can freely talk to, share with, someone whom we know will take care of our Hearts and respect our feelings, someone who will not leave in times of trouble or for any other reason. I showed and gave most if not all (everyone flubs and forgets from time to time. That's where making amends and forgiveness come in) of the messages to the One I Love, but I have been abandoned and I am still trying to communicate in every way that I know how to get these points that are in the "Agreement" across. You see, My Love is ruled by Fear, Fear of disclosure, Fear of being seen in what he perceives as in "Bad Light", his Fear attacks his pride, and his pride is spilling out dishonesty in every way, not knowing nor wanting to admit that he is creating much more damage to himself, to me, the one who has hung in, been by his side, and would have never abandoned nor would have been disloyal in any way because that is how much he meant to me, that is how much I let him "In" because he was "Showing" me that he truly Loved me, he was being honest to me, at least I thought for the most part. He was my best Buddy, the closest I ever had or let in, despite my being supremely betrayed in the past. He is even denying himself to his son, for which he now, even more than before he knew he had a son, is so deathly afraid to have anyone know him. He doesn't know nor can accept that he's erroneous in thinking that the truth of his "preference" is more detrimental than living a Lie and injuring the One who truly Loves him beyond repair, AND his son who deserves his father's Love through Honesty. He is allowing the "Lies" to win and that colours his every motivation and killing my trust and beliefs in every way, not to mention, his son's too down the line. For truly who more than a child can pick up those "Hidden" things, those subconscience messages and behaviors. What is said and done is just as indelible to a child as what isn't said or done. If there is Fear, Denial, and no honest sharing of one's self, then that is what the child learns and is more damaged in the long run than if he allowed his child to see that his father can Love and be honest with himself, faults and all, and just as importantly be honest with him, his son.He would also be teaching him tolerance and understanding. My father and his father diplayed that dishonesty with us and I know that that is the thing that caused the most damage to us by alienating us and disrespecting our feelings, behind that "closed door' of denial and hiding. There was no such thing as True Intimacy with our fathers, but he doesn't see that he is exhibiting the same behavior as his father and like the others he has condemned for turning their backs on the ones who loved and committed to them. He is hurting and disrespecting me in every way. And even though he is telling me that he still "Loves" and cares, it doesn't match up to the comments he gave to me the past few years where he stated that with me, he "...found that True Love exists." and the number one statement of his, "Actions speak louder than words". But the Truth about that Love, the Love he said he found, believed in and honoured is losing out to Lies and is dying. You see, the Truth is in Love and Love is in Truth. I pray that soon he will see the Light and finally grow up so that he can honestly look in the mirror and see himself and what he has been doing and be adult enough, caring enough, BRAVE enough to finally BE HIMSELF and to do what he needs to do for himself and the others in his life who at least deserve to know him, the Human him (the honest and natural good-with-the-bad), and who truly Love him, support him and need his Love too, that it will not be too late. Because I fear that as the years go by, he will see what he had done, that one day he will see what his dishonesty has wrought and he will be haunted the rest of his life by what he has betrayed and destroyed, that Pride, Fear and Lies won over what Love really means, what Love is. It reminds me of Jesus healing on the Sabbath. A choice between doing what is Love and out of Love, and what is considered the Law, considered right. The Lord knew that Real Love is commitment to those you Love, honest and giving, etc. And it is supremely more important than fearing or abiding by what is considered improper, it's much more important than fearing what others would say or think.If it's "True Love" you have and have found, why would you want to betray and destroy it ? How could one stab the one they say they Love and respect in the Heart ? Well Heather, I'm sorry for being so lengthy on this and for perhaps being a little too candid, but I don't believe in hiding or being "phony" in my life, I at LEAST owe the ones I care about my Honesty, because that is truly being Loving and human. I know that some may not understand me or agree with me on certain issues, but if I am Really Loved by someone, and if they are a good person who at Least tries to understand and is Friend enough to listen, well then I know then that this person who says they Love me or cares about how I feel or think really IS being open and honest and caring, that they really ARE a friend, someone I can Trust. There is nothing like being able to Trust your Heart in someone else's "Hands". I don't know if you can fully understand or agree with everything that I'm going through or how I feel, Heather, but it really felt good to let all this out and relay it to you. I guess you can tell that this "Agreement" really struck a nerve. It describes what should be common decency and the "Honest" caring for someone's Heart, feelings, Life...actually just being that "Loving" friend and companion, "Buddy"...that we are all searching for and hoping to share this crazy life with. Long-winded and waiting..., geoffrey PS Just was wondering if perhaps you would be open to email ? [This message has been edited by Geoffrey Sonnen (edited 07-27-2000).] |
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Heather Miller Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409Bryan, Ohio USA |
Of course hon, I'd be happy to email. Anytime!!!!!!! send email to CherokeeGirl1@excite.com I do understand what you were talking about and we can go into it more in email if you'd like. LITL, Heather p.s. I'm ALWAYS willing to lend an ear or a shoulder for that matter I also have ICQ, MSN, and AOL messanger if you have any of those< !signature--> With God all things are possible. [This message has been edited by Heather Miller (edited 07-27-2000).] |
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