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Passions in Poetry

The Steel Sonneteer

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Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


0 posted 07-11-2000 05:20 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

The Steel Sonneteer
          or
The Tracks of Loneliness


You were long ago christened loneliness
Perhaps while you sang  broken hearts to sleep
With a melody of mourning you caress
Your gentle rocking urging eyes to weep
Heavy strains of melancholy softly ply
A sympathetic cadence of seduction
You've been a long and moving lullaby
Echoing hints of more hearts destruction
Play your sirens call elsewhere down the line
Sound your whistle of woe for someone new
I'll cross your trails- slowing at your sign
You'll let me know each time you're passing thru
   With those who've bought their tickets for your pain
   Because they love to ride the singing train



Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".  





[This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 07-11-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 07-11-2000 07:13 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

You were long ago christened loneliness
Perhaps while you sang  broken hearts to sleep
With a melody of mourning you caress
Your gentle rocking urging eyes to weep
Heavy strains of melancholy softly ply
A sympathetic cadence of seduction
You've been a long and moving lullaby
Echoing hints of more hearts destruction
-------------
Jamie
this is beautiful...
loneliness laced with seduction
slighly haunting...
very well written...
excellent metaphor use
I think i like the second title best...
but thats just me  
take care
jm

I think I could need - this in my life
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
there's a little bit of something me
In everything in you
MB20


[This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 07-11-2000).]
Siren's Song
Junior Member
since 07-02-2000
Posts 17


2 posted 07-11-2000 07:20 PM       View Profile for Siren's Song   Email Siren's Song   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Siren's Song

OOhhh Jamie.. what a "conductor" of words you are.. I could hear the rails singing the blues to me as I read this..
blessed be poetman!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


3 posted 07-11-2000 08:38 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Oh Jamie, this is amazing the description of lonliness hauntingly told, You do it well sweetie  
Excellent writting!  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


4 posted 07-11-2000 08:49 PM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Yeah - wot Maree sed!

Lol - Jamie, this rocks!

Here are the lines that I just love:

'A sympathetic cadence of seduction
You've been a long and moving lullaby'

Wooow

K

epoet
Member
since 05-11-2000
Posts 296
grand rapid,MI, usa


5 posted 07-11-2000 09:00 PM       View Profile for epoet   Email epoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for epoet

really good images here.  flows really well and can feel the pain of heartbreak.  great poem

P. J. Kotrch
carpe diem
A soul once touched is a soul once blessed by love

Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


6 posted 07-11-2000 09:34 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

lovely, lovely words, too lovely

Jamie, this is another of your great poems...

regards, sudhir
Marina
Member Elite
since 02-10-2000
Posts 2267
Pickering, Ontario


7 posted 07-11-2000 09:46 PM       View Profile for Marina   Email Marina   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Marina

A wondeful poem Jamie.  You are really very good.

Marina


It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen
Marina Crossley

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 02-04-2000
Posts 2942
New York, USA


8 posted 07-12-2000 08:20 AM       View Profile for BSC   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BSC

Wow, this is wonderful.  I could hear everything so clearly.  What a great piece this is!!! Bonnie
Geoffrey Sonnen
Member
since 07-05-2000
Posts 144
Reading, PA USA


9 posted 07-12-2000 01:26 PM       View Profile for Geoffrey Sonnen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Geoffrey Sonnen

Boy, Jamie, this is incredible. I was feeling a lot while reading this. I guess I picked up on the loneliness and the references to singing. It's really dream-like and beautifully sad. I'm voting for you.

           Geoffrey
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


10 posted 07-12-2000 07:56 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Vote  
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


11 posted 07-13-2000 02:10 AM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Ooooo!  
Vote!
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


12 posted 07-14-2000 11:14 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

Thanks to you all from the bottom of my no train riding heart!

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 677
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE


13 posted 07-14-2000 11:40 PM       View Profile for AVANTI   Email AVANTI   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AVANTI

very well written...
agree with Janet

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


14 posted 07-15-2000 08:57 AM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

well written.  enjoyed the read.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


15 posted 07-15-2000 09:08 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Great poem, Jamie! I enjoyed this very much!

Denise
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 05-13-2000
Posts 3621
High Springs, Florida


16 posted 07-15-2000 11:55 PM       View Profile for dgvarner   Email dgvarner   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dgvarner

wow!  this is wonderful--i love it!  

dg


"i speak in written word--my lips, no sound may utter..." dgvarner
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


17 posted 07-16-2000 12:32 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

Avanti-Mike-Denise-DGVarner

Thanks for reading, and for the kind reviews.

Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


18 posted 08-03-2000 11:23 AM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Jamie, I believe this needs to rise... I would vote for the title alone... the following poem more than lives up!
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


19 posted 08-04-2000 12:36 AM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Marvelous! Voting here.
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


20 posted 08-07-2000 11:38 AM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

Christopher and PDV,

Thanks, considering the source, high praise indeed.



Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


Tanga
Junior Member
since 07-02-2000
Posts 39
BC Canada


21 posted 09-02-2000 03:22 AM       View Profile for Tanga   Email Tanga   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Tanga

Your stop sir!! Take care as you step off the sirens sorrow songs rail ride !
Hugss<**>
Tanga
Junior Member
since 07-02-2000
Posts 39
BC Canada


22 posted 09-02-2000 03:24 AM       View Profile for Tanga   Email Tanga   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Tanga

Your stop sir!! Take care as you step off the sirens sorrow songs rail ride !
Hugss<**>
Tanga
Junior Member
since 07-02-2000
Posts 39
BC Canada


23 posted 09-02-2000 03:29 AM       View Profile for Tanga   Email Tanga   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Tanga

Toodles.. Two tickets for the price of one!!
Hugss <**>
 
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