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Passions in Poetry

Sea Love

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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


0 posted 06-28-2000 02:54 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Severn

To you a mountain chases out her soils
through the lost solidity of winter clothes
I see, ribbon-tumbled, these streams and wider rivers
across these lands, where my feet float over the green.

The rushers still in awe, on their approach to you,
their mouths, their last youth union with the earth
tide-embraced, those fresh children,
ushering the expanse of anonymity wandering
an intake of salted sand, and peace
at this, their mature quest.

Perhaps I am among them
as I walk the waterís mark.

I am the mermaid, the siren, soon
happily I would go into these waves
and creature myself within your sheltering

those tributoried churns, and drift
of martyred shells, they hasten me,
I am exposed to need, and recognition
of the horizoned line beyond.

Surely I will swim, though land-bound yet,
from the waterís mouth,
and see my land from anotherís view.


© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


1 posted 06-28-2000 03:16 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

Kamla, Absolutley beautiful my friend....

those tributoried churns, and drift
of martyred shells, they hasten me,
I am exposed to need, and recognition
of the horizoned line beyond.

You have my vote!  


Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive,
my body goes on, my spirit has died,
and I though alive, feel dead inside.

"Rose Petal"

AniKay83
Member
since 06-28-2000
Posts 416
Missing Since 1999


2 posted 06-28-2000 03:19 AM       View Profile for AniKay83   Email AniKay83   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AniKay83

Nice poem. (I'm ok at writing them, not so much at critiquing them!) But that's not important. I think what's more important is not what you can say about a poem but what you feel from a poem. And I feel like yours is really good. It kinda reminded me of an old story or something...

"Once I stood upon the waves,
In numbing sleep, no doubt.
And I struggled with the water,
On it's endless route-
To build itself a massive tower,
Only to cause it's end.
Upon those jagged rocks,
They broke, over and again.
Then I woke in breathless awe,
Of the lesson learned:
If you build yourself up too high-
You'll get what you deserve."
~Kay
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


3 posted 06-28-2000 10:16 AM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

ooops   how did I get here?   K have a smile
anyway  

Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive,
my body goes on, my spirit has died,
and I though alive, feel dead inside.

"Rose Petal"

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


4 posted 06-28-2000 10:47 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Kamla, you always write so well...this one is supurb!
Mike
Member Elite
since 06-19-99
Posts 2528


5 posted 06-28-2000 10:51 AM       View Profile for Mike   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mike

wonderfully written.  An excellent poem.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


6 posted 06-28-2000 01:28 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

WOW..butterfly sharer this is AMAZING..
the imagery and metaphors for the emotions
are breathtaking...
beautiful Kam...truley
jm
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


7 posted 06-28-2000 02:01 PM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Kamla,
For a couple of days or more, I was beginning to wonder where you had gone...
now I know where....

and you came back with this amazing, wonderful poem....

regards, sudhir

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee,
Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

- John Donne
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


8 posted 06-28-2000 03:30 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

What a wealth of wonder your writing is! Please accept this humble vote from a lowly admirer  

(I'm writing soon. Promise!!!!)
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


9 posted 06-28-2000 04:56 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

Ohhh *breathing again* I too want to see my land from another's view!  
Beautiful just beautiful
~Heather
Colin
Senior Member
since 06-05-99
Posts 612
Callington, Cornwall, England


10 posted 06-28-2000 05:09 PM       View Profile for Colin   Email Colin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Colin

Beautiful   And I agree with you and Heather... I would love to see my land from another's view. To see all those things we see every day and take for granted in a new fresh light would be wonderful.

Eric.

"We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


11 posted 06-28-2000 08:49 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Beautiful!!! Where's my voting button?  
Jamie
Member Elite
since 06-26-2000
Posts 3219
Blue Heaven


12 posted 06-28-2000 09:16 PM       View Profile for Jamie   Email Jamie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Jamie's Home Page   View IP for Jamie

I think we all have need of exploring our horizons.
A cogitative gem.
jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".


doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


13 posted 06-28-2000 10:58 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

This is such a wonderful piece of writing! You are a very talented young lady. This should have a prime spot in this book! Fabulous!
Moonshine
Member
since 10-01-1999
Posts 269
Australia


14 posted 06-29-2000 01:23 AM       View Profile for Moonshine   Email Moonshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Moonshine's Home Page   View IP for Moonshine

Wow! That's all I can say in response to this awesome piece - excellent work Severn. Here, catch a vote!

J.
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


15 posted 06-29-2000 02:22 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

i'm glad you finally decided to post this yuh yuh yu huy huyhurt'sjps vote burp
tracie66
Member Elite
since 01-18-2000
Posts 4587
Victoria, Australia


16 posted 06-29-2000 06:48 AM       View Profile for tracie66   Email tracie66   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tracie66's Home Page   View IP for tracie66

Beautiful vision, a wonderful read  
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe


Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


17 posted 06-29-2000 01:55 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

Yes!  

I need more than one vote button!!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


18 posted 06-30-2000 04:50 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Must have been near to impossible to choose K. And I noticed that you changed the format around a wee bit!  

Again, love this, it touches.  
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


19 posted 07-02-2000 06:03 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Just wanted to thank you all really - for the support of this poem..I appreciate it so much!

K

Poertree
Senior Member
since 11-05-1999
Posts 1413
UK


20 posted 07-02-2000 03:13 PM       View Profile for Poertree   Email Poertree   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poertree

LK

As you know i think this is one of, if not THE, best i've seen from you ... which means of course it's pretty good    (IMHO) ..

SP
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 08-15-99
Posts 1966
Sitting in Michael's Lap


21 posted 07-02-2000 04:56 PM       View Profile for Skyfyre   Email Skyfyre   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Skyfyre

Absolutely, positively stunning.

You have my first book-vote ever.  

--Kess


YOUR LIFE IS A TEST

It is only a test ...

If this were your Actual Life, you would have been given better instructions!

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


22 posted 07-02-2000 05:40 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

Fabulous water imagery, Severn, got my vote on this one!

Corinne
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


23 posted 07-03-2000 01:44 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

Ok Sir P ....nyeenah to you! IMHO indeed...sticking out tongue at YOU!!!

Haha..love ya...

and Kess - wow...that means a hell of a lot...wow...! Big Grin!

K
Nara
Junior Member
since 10-31-1999
Posts 11


24 posted 07-13-2000 07:51 PM       View Profile for Nara   Email Nara   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nara

Love it.  Beautiful work.
 
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