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Winter star
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Winter star |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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You were the brightest star to shine through the thickets of grey, the thorns failed scratch our surfaces. I sunk beneath into a vacancy of conquered space, as a moth drawn to the flame longing to be burnt in reality. In the fading light of day I retreat to face the nocturnal frost. The pavements wait buried in autumn leaves, their brittle carcasses struggle in a war of wilt. Everything is far removed, In this space traffic hunts as preying wolves in packs of futile persecution. Overhead the sky suffocates. Its infinite void tortures the mind to capture. Crawling through weathered dreams I halt, a rabbit in the headlights, memorised by a heavenly satellite on ice; the only star radiating empty space. Everything is far removed, in the faults of this hell purity dazzles, as a moth guided in paralysis to its celestial epicentre. I am given to dreaming of memories we shared so long past, lost in faults of this sorrow I felt only peace in the emptiness. Through the shadows your spirit embraces my frozen shell allowing me the courage to continue. In hope secure we are of the heavens tonight, great distances can not break the bounds that tie our hearts. We live in a garden delicate and tender to celebrate, existing unknown, where everything else is far removed. A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I am given to dreaming of memories we shared so long past, lost in faults of this sorrow I felt only peace in the emptiness. Through the shadows your spirit embraces my frozen shell allowing me the courage to continue. In hope secure we are of the heavens tonight, great distances can not break the bounds that tie our hearts. We live in a garden delicate and tender to celebrate, existing unknown, where everything else is far removed. ------------------- WOW the imagery in this is STUNNNING Bri.. man you just do this so well, and the emotions of that last verse are written with such depth... you make this look so easy awe-by you again eve  |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
This is excellent brian! I hope it goes in the book. |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
this shows a lot of talent ... and a lot of feeling I too, hope that it makes the book |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
This is excellent Brian. . . you have really captured the feelings well here with your imagery. . . Very well done. . . --------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Christopher J Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 94 |
I have absolutely no idea how you came up with such a thoughtful poem...it has my vote! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Great job Brian... Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Jan, I hoping that the last verse did sound too cliched, like a happy ending after the build up. REally glad you approve of the ending and the whole poem. thanks for your wonderful response. insect, thanks for your reply. Rex, thank you Rex for your kind words. I am glad that feelings come through in the words. Sven, thank you for your wonderful response. The night was really visual, and bleak, very haunting. I am glad that showed through in the words. Chris, thanks for the vote. Much appreciated. Well I love that person dearly and miss them badly, but the presense is always with me. Strong emotions helped write this poem. Thanks for your reply. CM, thanks for your reply. "An abyss that lasted creation A circus complete with all fools Foundations that lasted the ages Then ripped apart at their roots" joy division |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
ok, you've been holding your best until the book idea huh? No, seriously, this is outstanding. It nearly drugged me with imagery, and that's a great feeling. keep it up. Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sig |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Fabulous writing, Brian! Very well done! Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yes, sir! One more vote here....... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I am given to dreaming of memories we shared so long past, lost in faults of this sorrow I felt only peace in the emptiness. Through the shadows your spirit embraces my frozen shell allowing me the courage to continue. In hope secure we are of the heavens tonight, great distances can not break the bounds that tie our hearts. We live in a garden delicate and tender to celebrate, existing unknown, where everything else is far removed. ..... Extraordinarily Stunning as always, brian... great work... regards and a (click) sudhir. Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a beautiful, heart-felt piece. It belongs in our book! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Very nicely done. Enjoyed muchly. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Kathleen, you caught me out. You know what they say always hold on to the best till last. LOL. Drugged on imagery? sounds like fun, might give it a try. thanks for your wonderful response. dsnyder, thanks for your reply. Balladeer, thank you for reading and for your vote. I promise to keep all my election promises when I am elected into office..oops wrong specch. forget the last part.  Sudhir, thank you for your kind words and for the click. LoveBug, thank you for your lovely comments. Mike, thank you for your lovely reply and glad that you enjoyed my little poem. "but for the lovers, their arms Round the griefs of the ages, Who pay no praise or wages Nor heed my craft or art" Dylan Thomas. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Adding my vote here, Brian...you have drenched me with your fabulous imagery and I'm still trying to dry off. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Beautifully done Brian, you weave with the hand of an artist and the heart of a poet...a breathtaking couple~ |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
WOW I am stunned! This was really, really good. I liked the sort of train of thought, ramble feel yet it had structure and balance. *Tipping hat...*  ~Heather |
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Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
That was a great poem! There is nothing I find more beauty in than the night sky. "The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. " Eden Phillpotts *Cassandr |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
WOW BRIAN AWESOME read here, very, very nice work, a must see in PRINT, Love, Cerenity |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
as usual...your writing leaves me speechless..but that last paragraph was especially "wow" dg "Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you." -Kahlil Gibran |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
i agree with everyone above.... this poem breathes and lives....its intricate and delicate....and very much enjoyed. ~Dawn whatcha doing in this darkness baby when you know love will set you free? will you stay in the sea forever Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
I am given to dreaming of memories we shared so long past, lost in faults of this sorrow I felt only peace in the emptiness... this amazing piece had a sadness to me, yet a little hope, wrapped up in all the wonderfull images.. Great for the book.... voted Parker |
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