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Passions in Poetry

Awe(a concrete poem)

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kaile
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since 02-06-2000
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singapore


0 posted 06-20-2000 07:28 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for kaile


                I(a
                red
                 R
                 O
                 S
                 E
                in
        g r a s s p a t c h)
               catch
      
                ing


      
        
© Copyright 2000 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
kaile
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1 posted 06-20-2000 08:57 PM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

perhaps no one has understood this poem

"I" can mean "eye"
which leads to this:

1)the red rose is eye catching

2)"I" being the red rose speaking

pls do comment its rather demoralizing to see a poem which you are really proud of shunned and cast aside
JOY 14
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since 09-22-1999
Posts 1447
Wisconsin USA


2 posted 06-21-2000 02:51 PM       View Profile for JOY 14   Email JOY 14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JOY 14's Home Page   View IP for JOY 14

Hey, don't fret, Kaile! I like it, even though my understanding may be diff.  Everyone has thier own interpratations.  Which is good. Wow! I've been away from the computer for only one day and look at all I'm missing.  

Joy
JP
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since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


3 posted 06-22-2000 12:45 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

hehe, demoralizing is it?  You have a point there. The sting of 0 responses is a most irritating and sorrowful sting indeed, one many here know all too well.

I've read this work, looked at your comments and am reading it again.  Abstract poetry is not one of my strong suits so bear with me as I struggle to comprehend your meaning...

Keep posting  

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway
Ryan
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since 06-10-99
Posts 318
Kansas


4 posted 06-22-2000 01:53 PM       View Profile for Ryan   Email Ryan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ryan

I like the experimental quality of this one.  It definitely deserves to be in the book.

Ryan


I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
óJack Kerouac

Munda
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since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


5 posted 06-25-2000 04:41 PM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

I never saw this form of poetry before and I must say, it's different from everything I read thus far and thank you for explaining it.  
kaile
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6 posted 07-01-2000 09:58 PM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

thanx Joy 14, JP, Ryan and MUNDA for replying
Sven
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since 11-23-1999
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Lansing, MI USA


7 posted 07-02-2000 02:30 AM       View Profile for Sven   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sven

EXCELLENT kaile!!!

This is a superb example of a concrete poem. . . it's perfect in its form and function. . . reminded me of why I like this form so much, it's hard to get it just right isn't it without knowing a lot of HTML??

I'm going to get to this one in my own series in Open, but you've done well with this one. . .

BRAVO!!!

---------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Severn
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since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


8 posted 07-02-2000 05:56 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

BRAVA!

Personally - I think this is fantastic...these poems are not at all easy to do, I also think this book should be full of a variety of type of poetry - and this most definitely has my vote...

K
Brad
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since 08-20-99
Posts 5896
Jejudo, South Korea


9 posted 07-03-2000 03:24 AM       View Profile for Brad   Email Brad   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Brad

I think this would make a strong addition.

Brad
Corazon
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since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


10 posted 07-03-2000 11:03 AM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

i write only freestyle and am not familiar with this type of poem, but with your explanation, and a reread, i do think that it would be a nice addition to the book, poetry has many different shapes  
Mon Cherie
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Land of Never-ending Summers


11 posted 11-17-2001 11:14 AM       View Profile for Mon Cherie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mon Cherie

Cool, Kaile...
Didn't know that these are called concrete poems. Oh well, I've still lots to learn...

But um, hehe... I do think that it'd be better if that really looked like a rose, rather than an upside down cross.  
 
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