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she simply fell apart
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she simply fell apart |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209
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she fell over her arm tripped on it actually and marveled to see her foot stay behind as well she struggled to right herself but the proceeding unbalanced stumble only served to jar another limb and next I think was her other arm because she couldn't seem to catch the falling pieces nor herself as she repeatedly hit rock bottom she never saw them go, but her ears must have been next cause she couldn't hear the offers for help and she couldn't bear to hear herself think and last as she sat with no arms and no legs (and no ears) and cried because she still had her eyes must have been her heart the swelling in her chest just didn't leave room for it any more [This message has been edited by Corazon (edited 06-19-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 zoe d. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
WHOA!!!! WOW... way way cool girl ...WAY!!!!! the last 5 lines give new meaning to emotional impact... take care poet-girlie girl  jm |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
k..... .ok ok this one too... wow, how did I miss this before... Parker |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Me too ... wow ... how did I miss this before or is it new Corazon? Wonderful! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
well have you ever heard the saying "a poet by any other name is a poet just the same?" *very expectant waiting for an answer look* lol ok I just made that up, but no do not feel remiss in missing this, and the temple one, they have never worn the name of Corazon before, were written in a dark time of my life when I needed a different pen name to hide behind...was even hard to go and dig them up, but I write best when my heart is breaking, so I knew these would probably be good ones to put the shovel to ...thanks  |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Ok this is a description (in my mind) of depression. I FEEL for her. Wow this was great! ~Heather |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I think this would make a strong addition to the book. Brad |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Sounds almost like a bad dream I once had but is an enjoyable read, and it is well written and a familiar place alot of have been. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
she still had her eyes must have been her heart the swelling in her chest just didn't leave room for it any more .... Names sound different, but heart ache in any word formation sing the same sad song.... Corazon, this is great piece of work, thanks for sharinga nd thanks for submitting...I am gladdened by the fact that you no longer feel the need to hide behind past shadows... regards, sudhir |
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Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
this is a VIVID display of the pain she feels. Well done C, well done indeed "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
This feels incredibly real, and that's what makes it so strong. I like this alot. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
absolutely enthralling! now this is poetry! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
even though when written this one was all too real...it has remained one of my favorites...so your comments mean much to me, thank you all |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Did someone already say wow? Wow again...very powerful poem! |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
It has been said before, but I say it anyway this is very powerful and yes "WOA" The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Damn Corazon, this rocked. And I like the picture you chose for yourself. 'Bout time I do the same, huh? Mike |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
thank you all, for the votes and the comments and yep mr. b. squirrel it sure is, i want to see your poetic smile |
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