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Passions in Poetry

scaled velvet

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bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


0 posted 06-17-2000 10:12 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for bsquirrel

And this makes three.

Mike

-scaled velvet-
She told me to smile more, pray often,
Kneel in the water and live.
I knelt down and looked at myself,
Separated lips from teeth.
She told me to keep my eyes closed:
Follow the act, but never ever to lie.
I prayed that night holding the clock
That if god weren't dead he'd tried.

Do sixteen dead apples, pits and cores
Equal seventy-five nights of loving a whore?
Do kisses always leave thorns or a firstborn
When shackled clothes hit the floor?
Did those sins and scrapes and rings through your tongue
Leave your face with that cold, open sore?
Do one million heartbeats and seven trillion breaths
Leave you any less dead at the door?

No.
No, she said.

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 06-17-2000).]
© Copyright 2000 MPC - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


1 posted 06-17-2000 10:54 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Do one million heartbeats and seven trillion breaths
Leave you any less dead at the door?

No.
No, she said.
------------------

you already know how i feel about this gem...
never get tired of reading it.
impacts me differently each time...
always make me think.
and thats a good thing  
later-cool-poet-gator
bs/jm

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


2 posted 06-18-2000 10:56 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Wow! Striking Mike ... from the title right through to the content! Left me with all sorts of thoughts and emotions ... excellent!

Best wishes,
/Kit
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


3 posted 06-18-2000 11:10 AM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Mike~ Wow! I mean WOW!!   -SEA
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


4 posted 06-19-2000 06:46 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

I am totally unsure how this poem made me feel, but it did make me feel...WOW

~H
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


5 posted 06-20-2000 01:27 PM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

i like this one its artsy fartsy at its best!!  
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


6 posted 06-21-2000 01:51 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Janet,
As always, glad you enjoy.

Kit,
Have fun sorting through all the sorts.  

SEA,
Gracious thanks.

Xangel,
Sometimes it's good to feel unidentifiable emotions -- I'm glad these words were able to bring some of those out.

walt,
My favorite part of the poem is the end, because it makes fun of the "artsy fartsy" beginning and middle part. A guy is basically becoming more and more angry (and a little pompous) in front of this girl, and she cuts him down with one word at the end. Love it!

Mike

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 06-21-2000).]
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


7 posted 06-22-2000 07:06 AM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

ah...but you do know I love this...I want to be president of your fan club!
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


8 posted 06-24-2000 12:09 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Only if we get married, S'en.   Just kidding. Can I be president of yours and Butterfly Slippers, seeing as you're twins?

Mike
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


9 posted 06-24-2000 12:49 AM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

{rising from my seat to applaud}

Excellent!!!!

you are a dynamic poet and i'm absolutely enraptured by your work

you write the cutting edge, my friend...!!

the curtain is open to the voting booth... this hits hard!!... the lever is pushed
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


10 posted 06-24-2000 06:10 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Doreen,
Thank you for your kind reply and the smile you just gave me. It fits perfectly.  

Mike
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


11 posted 06-26-2000 11:42 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Arrgh! Yet another double message. Passions Stupid timed edit.

Anyway, Doreen, looking back at my reply, I didn't really say how much I appreciate your comments, especially coming from a poet who obviously knows what she's talking about. That doesn't mean the other poets here don't know what they're talking about -- far from it. It does, mean, that I hold you in special respect, and I again thank you. Now wouldn't this have been a lot nicer in one message instead of two?  

Mike
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


12 posted 06-27-2000 05:40 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Wow!  Powerful and raw...and a vote!
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 11-03-1999
Posts 4427
Oklahoma, USA


13 posted 06-27-2000 06:02 PM       View Profile for Not A Poet   Email Not A Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Not A Poet's Home Page   View IP for Not A Poet

Mike, this really is strong, and very good too.

Thanks,
Pete
Corazon
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 1301


14 posted 06-27-2000 07:09 PM       View Profile for Corazon   Email Corazon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corazon

ok I find another one I thought I voted for, yet my vote is not here...must be getting old  
this deserves applause....love your writing  
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


15 posted 06-28-2000 12:10 AM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Thanks for reading, guys (gals). I always appreciate it. Not to mention I get to make a whole cool bunch of poet-friends.  

Mike
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 677
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE


16 posted 06-28-2000 12:25 AM       View Profile for AVANTI   Email AVANTI   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AVANTI

Excellent and so perfect
very strong...
I liked it a lot...

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


17 posted 06-28-2000 11:54 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Avanti, thanks for the support. Much appreciated.  Now do a search for my other three poems in here -- i am goodbye, i saw her in the rain and wow ... even I can't remember what the other one was called anymore ... uh-oh.  

Mike



[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (edited 06-28-2000).]
insect
Senior Member
since 04-22-2000
Posts 1001


18 posted 08-06-2000 10:34 AM       View Profile for insect   Email insect   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for insect

Vote!
Vote I said.

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


19 posted 08-13-2000 03:24 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

Insect,
Thanks, you pest!   Much appreciated. Now where's my fly swatter?

Mike, who wonders how flies keep getting into his apt.!
 
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