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Passions in Poetry

A Summer Evening Death

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JOY 14
Senior Member
since 09-22-1999
Posts 1447
Wisconsin USA


0 posted 06-17-2000 06:56 PM       View Profile for JOY 14   Email JOY 14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit JOY 14's Home Page   View IP for JOY 14

The last words came out
Shhh. Quiet now
Shhh. Quiet please
As she spoke in whispers low
I'm sure she felt the warm air blow
Through the window, across her face
A beckoning of God's sweet grace
The forest green eyes that used to burn so deep
Are now clouded over
As if time to sleep.
White snow cheeks reflected so
The late summer's evening glow
A shaky hand reached out as if to say
Return to me when old and gray
I lifted a finger and slowly removed
The bright shiny ring
Her wedding band
Almost permanently attached to her wrinkled hand.
Finaly I spoke
Not caring what I said
Because after all
She'd soon be dead.
© Copyright 2000 Kristen Joy Jacobus - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


1 posted 06-17-2000 08:32 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

From the intriguing title, through the end of the poem, this was excellent!  
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 01-03-2000
Posts 8382


2 posted 06-17-2000 10:01 PM       View Profile for bsquirrel   Email bsquirrel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for bsquirrel

I have to agree with PdV -- love the title. Man, this subsection of Passions is amazing. This is the first time I've ever just gone down a list of poems, one by one, and enjoyed every one. We should have "best of"s more often.   Enjoyed your poem.

Mike
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


3 posted 06-18-2000 08:42 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Great imagery Joy, I've got a picture of her in my mind as I write. Very nicely done!

Best wishes,
/Kit
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 01-18-2000
Posts 24152
with you


4 posted 06-18-2000 03:09 PM       View Profile for SEA   Email SEA   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SEA

Joy~ Wow! This is just "WOW"!   -SEA
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


5 posted 06-21-2000 04:45 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

This is excellent.
Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 11-03-1999
Posts 4427
Oklahoma, USA


6 posted 06-22-2000 12:43 PM       View Profile for Not A Poet   Email Not A Poet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Not A Poet's Home Page   View IP for Not A Poet

I have to agree with everyone else, this is a beautiful poem. I had to read it several times to appreciate all the emotional layers presented.

Pete
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


7 posted 06-22-2000 01:18 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

Well writ, indeed!  

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway
JOY 14
Senior Member
since 09-22-1999
Posts 1447
Wisconsin USA


8 posted 06-22-2000 11:02 PM       View Profile for JOY 14   Email JOY 14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JOY 14's Home Page   View IP for JOY 14

Thank you Poet deVine, bsquirrel, Kit, SEA, Lost Dreamer, Not A Poet, and JP.  
This I feel is one of my best works.  I appreciate your replies.  I may be a possible poet afterall, eh?   Smiles to you all!

Joy


Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying,
And this same flower that smiles today
To-morrow will be dying.

-Robert Herrick

Munda
Member Elite
since 10-08-1999
Posts 3629
The Hague, The Netherlands


9 posted 06-23-2000 04:32 AM       View Profile for Munda   Email Munda   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Munda's Home Page   View IP for Munda

Great one JOY !
X Angel
Senior Member
since 11-07-1999
Posts 1592
Oregon


10 posted 06-27-2000 12:54 PM       View Profile for X Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for X Angel

I remember so well the day my Gramms died. *sniff*...guess who has HER ring?
Yup....me....it's beautiful too...but she gave it to me, the week or so before she passed away.
This was a great poem, thanks for letting us enjoy it.
~Heather
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


11 posted 06-27-2000 02:36 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

Joy, so beautiful yet quiet sad. wow

The forest green eyes that used to burn so deep
Are now clouded over
As if time to sleep.
White snow cheeks reflected so
The late summer's evening glow
A shaky hand reached out as if to say
Return to me when old and gray

an amazing image. really enjoyed this poem

"but for the lovers, their arms Round the griefs of the ages, Who pay no praise or wages Nor heed my craft or art"
Dylan Thomas.
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 05-13-2000
Posts 3621
High Springs, Florida


12 posted 08-05-2000 05:36 PM       View Profile for dgvarner   Email dgvarner   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dgvarner

bumping this to the top    what a great piece of work!

dg

"Half of what i say is meaningless; but i say it so that the other half may reach you."
-Kahlil Gibran

JOY 14
Senior Member
since 09-22-1999
Posts 1447
Wisconsin USA


13 posted 08-06-2000 07:30 PM       View Profile for JOY 14   Email JOY 14   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JOY 14's Home Page   View IP for JOY 14

Thanks dg!

Joy
BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 02-04-2000
Posts 2942
New York, USA


14 posted 08-07-2000 07:08 PM       View Profile for BSC   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BSC

Intriguing, read beautifully from beginning to end.  Bonnie
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 02-02-2000
Posts 677
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE


15 posted 08-07-2000 11:59 PM       View Profile for AVANTI   Email AVANTI   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for AVANTI

how did i miss this one?
I've been reading reuglarly...
I'm gald it's beter later then never...
very well written
you write in dark passions too right?
This is great work!


If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise?
Avanti Rao


ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


16 posted 08-08-2000 05:03 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

That's quite the title and then you follow it up with such a great work in verse....click
Sudhir Iyer
Member Rara Avis
since 04-26-2000
Posts 7206
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium


17 posted 08-08-2000 05:38 AM       View Profile for Sudhir Iyer   Email Sudhir Iyer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sudhir Iyer

Wonderful Wonderful....and full of amazing images...

regards,
sudhir
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


18 posted 08-08-2000 11:26 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

AWESOME writing Joy...
very cool and well written work
imagery was perfect
jm
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