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Open Poetry #9
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Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada

0 posted 2000-09-21 11:11 PM



If I were going to need you
And admit you were the one
Who stole my heart in secrecy
As shadows stole the sun

I'd have to turn myself around
Plant firm against my fears
Let loose my inhibitions
Admit to shedding tears

I'd have to look inside myself
And show you what I see
Soul, naked as the Emporer
With hope you'd still love me

I'd have to lay my pen down
And talk to you sometime
About the dark or glowing thoughts
That occupy my mind

If I were going to need you
And the man that I could be
I would give you all of this and more
Upon my bended knee.

© Copyright 2000 Trevor Watson - All Rights Reserved
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2000-09-21 11:19 PM


Trev,

This was a pleasant surprise tonight my friend!!!  It is so beautiful and romantic.  Absolutely amazing writing.     

Thank you for sharing and stopping by!!

Jen


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

juliet_2u
Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125
North Carolina
2 posted 2000-09-21 11:22 PM


Trev this was just great... Really loved it.
Juls

Alan
Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499
right next door
3 posted 2000-09-21 11:22 PM


Very good. I enjoyed the read.
I liked the feelings of honesty I drew from it. Keep up the good work.

grandiloquent
Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104
Midwest America
4 posted 2000-09-21 11:26 PM


This strikes some simple nostalgic chord in me. I really liked it.
Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
Tennessee
5 posted 2000-09-21 11:29 PM


This is wonderful!  Definately one of my favorites of this challenge series!  
Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
6 posted 2000-09-21 11:34 PM


This peek inside of you is
breathtakingly beautiful, Trew.
< !signature-->

...chanson~

Music, tonal clear & pure,
Caresses the harshest of curves.
-Song of Gesture



[This message has been edited by chansondegeste (edited 09-21-2000).]

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
7 posted 2000-09-22 12:17 PM


"If I were going to need you
And the man that I could be
I would give you all of this and more
Upon my bended knee."

I love those lines, Trev! (and, of course, the rest of the poem!) So beautifully romantic!!  Great writing!

sp




Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
8 posted 2000-09-22 12:29 PM


Now that is what I call romance...wonderful read from you..loved it alot.
CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

9 posted 2000-09-22 01:26 AM


This poem you have written is beyond words of rhyme...


AN INCREDIBLE READ
and thank you for posting this today as I really needed a boost! TGIF2morrow  

Dani


[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 09-22-2000).]

Beth
Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468
WA, Australia
10 posted 2000-09-22 02:15 AM


~This is really beautiful. A lovely read!!~

~Cherie~

Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
11 posted 2000-09-22 12:37 PM


Thank you all!  This was the first challenge that I have taken part in and boy, was it a fun one!

Jenn~  I was only going to peek in last night, but the challenge just sort of grabbed me!  Thank you for the high praise, it is much appreciated.  Still looking on ICQ...

Juls~  So glad you enjoyed it!  It's nice to know you are there to read my work!  Thank you!

Alan~  All honesty, my friend.  It's something that I finally allowed myself to do.  Thanks for your reply!

grandiloquent~  Love is the simplest of all emotions!  I'm glad you stopped in!  Thanks!

Tenn~  Wow!  With all of the submissions, that is truly a huge compliment!  Thank you very much!

chanson~  Thank you!  It is only now that I am able to open the door a little and allow myself to be seen.  I'm glad you liked the view!

sp~  No doubt about it, If I am truly going to need someone, that is the only way to show it!  I'm glad you liked it!

Mark~  From someone who's poetry I respect so much, that is very nice to hear.  Thank you!

Coco~  Wow!  Thank you for the great compliment!  I'm glad that I could help raise your spirits.  May Friday be a wonderful day for you!  And the weekend, as well!

Beth~  Well, thank you!  This was a strange one... I wrote it as though it were being dictated to me.  I guess it's sometimes not so much the poet, as it is the inspiration.
Still waiting for that dance!  

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
12 posted 2000-09-22 12:41 PM


You've penned the only way to need...all or
nothing!  Beatiful work Trew, I'm glad this
was a challenge you took part in!!

Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
13 posted 2000-09-22 12:50 PM


Oh Myyyyy, Oh Myyyyyy, Oh Myyyyyyy,
I am so gald I stopped in to read. This was so beautiful and romantic. Just a really wonderful write!  
Jenn E

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
14 posted 2000-09-22 04:33 PM


WoW, how did I miss this one,
It's soooo romantic and soft, I think I may have to keep it.
Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Wesley the Blue
Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426
Forest Lake, MN, USA
15 posted 2000-09-22 04:51 PM


Very cool.  I liked your poem very much.  Openness and honesty is the only way to go.  great read.

Keith

Tara Simms
Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244
Honea Path, SC USA
16 posted 2000-09-22 08:40 PM


The thought of being needed, by anyone other than my children, scares me.  After reading your poem, I'm thinking it would be wonderful to be needed.

Take me as I am or watch me as I go

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
17 posted 2000-09-22 10:40 PM


Trew~
You did a wonderful job on this.

'I'd have to look inside myself
And show you what I see'


That's where it starts - inside !
Enjoyed.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

18 posted 2000-09-22 10:43 PM


a lovely write..enjoyed..
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
19 posted 2000-09-22 10:53 PM


Oh Trev...how very beautiful my friend...you say everything with a touch so soft so sweet it just takes my breath away
kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
20 posted 2000-09-22 10:56 PM


the willingness to bare your true self cos u love someone...dig the sentiments here
Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
21 posted 2000-09-23 11:13 AM


B_d_c~  I found that it is the only way, indeed.  I need it all!  Thank you!

Jenn E~  I'm very glad you stopped in as well.  Thank you for taking the time and for your compliments!

Kethry~  Poetry, like love, is to be shared.  I'm honoured that you would keep this.  Thanks so much!

Keith~  It's for a pretty cool feeling, my friend!  And you're right, honesty says it all.  Thanks for reading and replying!

Tara~  My goodness!  That is a wonderful compliment.  Being needed is, perhaps, the best feeling of all... when it's from someone that you need as well.  Thank you very much!

Marge~  It's all about the inner you.  To love not only despite the faults, but rather because of them.  Thank you for taking time for me, it's a great compliment!

Victoria~  Thank you so much!

Paula~  I am always so humbled by your replies, my friend.  I'm glad you liked this one.  Now catch your breath and post another beauty!  

kaile~  Glad ya dig it!  
Love really does need to be unconditional to be true.  Show it all.  Thank you!

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
22 posted 2000-09-23 04:09 PM


I couldn't have said it better myself Trev. . . this is really great!!!

Well done my friend. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
23 posted 2000-09-25 03:34 AM


A beautiful way to say it.   Challenge well met, and thank you for taking the time. I enjoyed reading.  

My name isn't Baby, and I don't want to cyber.

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
24 posted 2000-09-25 01:20 PM


Trew-Truely eleoquent and very romantic! I liked!
Romy
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida
25 posted 2000-09-26 08:29 AM


Lovely! You write such a sweet beautiful poem! I really enjoyed it!
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