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Open Poetry #9
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Words that should remain unsaid
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Words that should remain unsaid |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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Can I make a confession, I made a mistake a fatal one, I questioned your love with a stupid slip of tongue. Oh I did it so well just walked on into it when I should be holding you. I held you there and watched as great distances grew between you and….me. Severed skin weeping the blood of sorrow, what was I? A Band-Aid? a nursing salt? No I was the damn vinegar!! I sat idle and held you under drowning not in love but a sea of burdened doubts and inspecting them now I see only childish phobias, To myself say "can't you handle life commitments boy so grown up? Well wake up… " The statute of the Thinker is the saddest sight, hunched over shoulders slumped for the wisdom he carries alone, no one has held him for he is too distracted pondering the world's dilemmas the future uncertain to even partake in present delights. She could hold him bring the sweetest desires to his feet but with eyes cast down, he would say "wait for me to think this through, to weight and question box dissect write the thesis file the results call this to attention of court supreme blah blah thoughtless thinking for an eternity." Oh sad lonely soul, a mirror of what I may be. Peter looks to Jesus walks across the water then questions and in an instance I sink, drowning alone, Yet you cast out your hand "How you have hurt me with these doubts? What miracles must I perform For you to believe?" By way of apologise, you are all to me. can I make a confession I can not be without you… Can we leave those doubtful words unheard to slip away as dust not hang from our necks as dead weights of my own creation. Just allow me this moment to hold you and in the silence let this love breath. I want to be with you for an eternity. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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| © Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
brian... this is... so real, so true... and so well written. yes, we can't take back things we've said... but... we all question, i think... we all have doubts and it is always hard to take a risk.... no doubt it sounds as if you realize as displayed in this piece that some risks are worth taking and that eventually... you have to trust, believe, and stop doubting... or else you simply lose out. thank you for posting this and for your very fine writing.  |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Brian, how does this hit home!!! Sometimes we lose all by questioning instead of believing. The secret is to question in silence but believe vocally, I guess. There are many people who expect to be taken at their word or by their actions...it is wise to do so. Excellent writing, sir, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"blah blah thoughtless thinking..." ain't it so, tho, ain't it? Love n Hugs to me bud---(and I told you...*wink*...it was all subliminal...I KNEW what I was doing...grins to ye, m'friend....) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
brian--You always appear so strong, yet I see your vulnerablility here and I feel a tender memory of my youth pop up....she must know all sides of you, and we all make mistakes along the way, that's how we learn and grow...give it time. I love it when you speak your heart like this.. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Brian! I love it! Denise |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Brian,...this is some wonderful writing. So open and it's got this lasting affect to it. It's definately one that crawls inside you and stays. It's like this flowing release,...this masterly crafted piece. Truly. Take care of yourself B. *Peace. |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Brian, must echo the above. Wonderful.... Fear is the world killer, brave it good soul. Parker |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Oh sad lonely soul, a mirror of what I may be. My favorite line, Brian, I knew you weren't finished yet, this is fantastic!!!!! Kathleen |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Oh Brian...you constantly amaze me with the beauty and reality of your words...so many times we dont want to take things at face value...and accept that they are real |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~Brian....You have left me quite speechless..I really dont know what to say...Im sure you are a man of wisdom and integrity and you will make the right choices that suit you. I love this piece and hope all things work for you. you deserve the happiness you so richly want!!~ ~Cherie~ |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
...and eternity it shall be sweet boy..all is always forgiven...you will ALWAYS be held close.... ~Yours "Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
This is indeed powerful writing, it's so well expressed. Too true that so often a word or an action can kill something perfect. To believe without questioning, is that foolish or not, I don't know if I'll ever know the answer. |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Brian, this is so true and beautiful. But, without the questions, the doubts remain. Which is worse? Dee |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"I cannot be without you. I want to be with you for an eternity." These words sound like the words of a man that has seen all the beauty that his lover may possess. Now I am thinking about Mina...excellent writing...it stirs my soul...James |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Brian, Slendiforous!!! Linda Munday |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She could hold him bring the sweetest desires to his feet but with eyes cast down, he would say "wait for me to think this through, to weight and question box dissect write the thesis file the results call this to attention of court supreme blah blah thoughtless thinking for an eternity." Oh sad lonely soul, a mirror of what I may be. Peter looks to Jesus walks across the water then questions and in an instance I sink, drowning alone, Yet you cast out your hand "How you have hurt me with these doubts? What miracles must I perform For you to believe?" By way of apologise, you are all to me. can I make a confession I can not be without you… Can we leave those doubtful words unheard to slip away as dust not hang from our necks as dead weights of my own creation. Just allow me this moment to hold you and in the silence let this love breath. I want to be with you for an eternity. ====================== sheeeesh ----could you be anymore inspired?????  me thinks yes...and me waits with held breath for the next gift of your poets pen ... all in good time Bri-gator... funny thing about fate and destiny ... if its meant to be ...then it will be ... and destiny needs no apologies later-love-inspired-gator eve-a-gator |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Doreen, I am learning... I am used to doubting and questioning and challenging but when there is another person involved my doubts will not only effect myself, especially as I tend to sharpen the truth make it more bitter, but I am learning slowly. Thanks for the wonderful comments. Balladeer, you mean lie??? could never do that, in fact those doubts had no place or relevance...it was such bad timing and I just handled everything wrong... Thank you for your thoughts and replies. serenity, subliminal... hmm then I can blame tv or the microwave for making me say stupid things.. evil grin. Thanks Martie, strong??? no not at all, I like to think I have intelligence but I do sometimes have a habit of putting my foot in it, the power of words....dangerous when mishandled. I was lucky to have some one who is very forgiving and patient. Thank you for your wonderful reply. Denise, wow thanks. SpitFire, thanks for your comments, my friend. Peace yes I have it now and will not let it slip away this time. Parker, fear I agree that it blinds us and makes us do stupid things, never thought I would fear love, but sometimes sorrow is hard to let go off. Thanks for your comments. Kathleen, I would prefer not to get inspiration from hurting a loved one.. In fact this poem should never have been writing if I was following my heart and not my fears. Thank you. Paula, blushing… "amaze"… I have my humble pie by my side, I know that I should never question love now because there are no answers, just love. Thank you for your reply. Beth, I try to be those things.. but I know that I have made the right choice that brings me so much happiness and colourful pouting (which I really love). Thanks. Dawn, so glad that you have read this piece because it is the one reply that I wanted for this poem. Your love and forgiveness is all I could ask for, thank you.. will save my gratitude for more private settings *Wink* Marsha, sometimes faith can lead us to the must wonderful places or people, I should have known this by now, but I do now. In true love suspend believe and then you will fly. Thank you for thoughts and wonderful comments. Dee, I am beginning to see how painful doubt can be when there is more than one person involved especially when the doubts are just paranoia, fears holding me back and that is a very dangerous thing. Thanks. James, ow I have seen much beauty, have been blessed by it, but why do I have to be like the guy who smells the flowers and looks for the coffin, I bet that guy is pretty lonely. Well I am going with my instincts And not questioning when no questions need to be asked. Thank you for your comments and I can tell that Mina is a lucky lady. Linda, checking dictionary…. Oh that is good. Thanks. Jan, wish the inspiration came from a better place, why must my muse just be inspired in painful situations? "about fate and destiny ...if its meant to be ...then it will be ..." oh I should know that but I think I should apologise to destiny for not listening to its wisdom. Just as well I have a benevolent soul mate. Smile to Dawn. Thank you Eveagator for everything. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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