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Open Poetry #9
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CAMERON UNDERWOOD
Junior Member
since 2000-08-31
Posts 26


0 posted 2000-09-21 03:43 PM



Dreaming of looking in to your dep-sea blues.
You get lost in me,..as I fall in to you.
Locks of silk entangles my passions.
You captured my soul with your charisma and compassion.
An angle behold were flying high.
Hearts as one emotions in the sky.
Ecstasy torching our mental fires.
Were now as one with our hearts deepest desires.
I breath you in as I watch you sleep.
As I'm tickling your back, I sigh and weep.
You are the world to me, and I would die without thought.
Your magic drew me in, and with your spell I was caught.
I think about you every second of every waking day.
Tears come to my eyes as I try to fight them away.
I thought it would get easier as the time has passed.
But I only find it harder as my mind dwells on the past.
Trying to keep positive looking forward from day to day.
I only hope to find someone as special as you that will remain to stay.
I hurt with out you like I'm missing part of my heart.
I hope we can end up together with a different kind of start.
You are my sunshine, touching every part of my soul.
I know I found the one,...and I never want to let you go.

Sleepless in Portland



© Copyright 2000 Cameron Underwood - All Rights Reserved
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
1 posted 2000-09-22 03:23 PM


Passionate prose, Cameron.

I'd change one line to shorten the length and number of syllables:

"You captured my soul with your charisma and compassion"

to perhaps:  Captured by your charisma and compassion

Corinne

Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
2 posted 2000-09-22 03:46 PM


I LOVED THIS..........filled with sadness yet lingering hope. If in fact you are going through this......my heart goes out to you and all that have been through this. I know when one is going through emotions sometimes you don't want to hear that it will get better because at that moment you want to feel sad as it is all a part of healing but........I can't help but say this saying....I am not sure who wrote it......"Sometimes when a door in our life gets closed we spend so much time looking at it we fail to see all the others that have bee opened."
We all have to look at the door as it closes, I know.........but I only hope you don't look to long.......
Take Care....
Jenn E

Oh, and I like your flow.........  

CAMERON UNDERWOOD
Junior Member
since 2000-08-31
Posts 26

3 posted 2000-09-22 03:51 PM


Thank You Corinne for your reply.

I thought that line sounded kind of funny.

I only just started writing poetry in June after my girlfriend broke up with me.
We are still best friends, but its a little wierd.
She is moving to go to school 2 hrs away.
The only reason we broke up is we didn't want to try and keep a long term relationship.
If its fait it will happen.
I also don't want her to have any regrets if we do get back together.  We have talked about getting married, but it probibly won't happen for about 7-8 years.
We'll have to wait and see.

Anyway I'm rambling on.

I just write what comes out.


I'd like to learn how write poetry better.
I'm thinking about taking a class if they have them; I'll have to check out the schools.



Wesley the Blue
Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426
Forest Lake, MN, USA
4 posted 2000-09-22 04:17 PM


I liked your poem, and I feel for you man.  That whole step to college kinda screws up relationships doesnt it.  I am in a long distance relationship with someone right now, and not looking to get out anytime soon. The only advice I can give you is, hang in there.  Like you said, if its gonna be, its gonna be.  Good luck and nice work
CAMERON UNDERWOOD
Junior Member
since 2000-08-31
Posts 26

5 posted 2000-09-22 05:32 PM


Jenn E
Thank You Oh so very much Jenn E, thats the nicest thing anyones has ever written me.
Yes I'm currently going through this.
I thought it would be better by now, but for some reason it seems harder than ever.
I wish I could just get over it so I can move on.  I guess its hard to let go of the most amazing thing that has ever happened in your life.  But I an working on it through alot of soggy pillows.
I just feal lost and alone with no support or nothing from anyone.  I guess thats why its so hard; I dont know.

Der Keit
Thanx Man, I'll hang in there and be the best friend I can to her.  I can do is hope and dream that one day my sweet angle will come back to me.

I love you both.
And I hope that your wishes and dreams come true as well.

Sleepless in Portland

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