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Open Poetry #9
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You Would Have Liked Me.......
| Open Poetry #9 |
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You Would Have Liked Me....... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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You would have liked me today. My hair is at that perfect length not too short Or shaven-looking from a recent cut not too long and scraggly but just that right length. When I combed it this morning it fell just right every hair in place. As I smiled at the mirror I knew if you could see me right then you would have liked me. I guess when you were around I was never at my best hair never fell right perhaps clothes fit badly maybe a blemish I wasn't aware of something that made you leave now as I stand here looking in the mirror at the way my hair has fallen perfectly the way my clothes fit just right with no noticeable blemish on my face I know that, if you were here right now you would like me I just know it please come back |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
NO..... correction....I would have LOVED you  (and I do ... I do ) WE ALL DO ... (lovewhenyouwritelikethistoo) later-oh-so-wise-poetic-gator me |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Janet Marie, you are a real blessing. I appreciate you...  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Balladeer--do I see some free verse here...and what a great job showing a simple emotion and making it so real and immediate...I do like you today...liked you yesterday too...and I know I'll like you tomorrow. |
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BirdeeB Member
since 2000-09-16
Posts 106USA |
That was great. BirdeeB |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
For one who doesn't pen much free-verse, at this format, as all others, you definately excel! This is sad, and poignant, though the craft used is beautiful, if such can be sans contradiction. Your writings are such a blessing and inspiration, as I saw more of in your recent interview in Digital Passions. Hoping this finds you well, Alicat |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
I like you! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Open-Heart Poetry. There is such a sweet vulnerability to this...and sad enough to make me worry about you...okay? okay. Hugs. |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
This was way cool! But please do comb that hair down. lol don't want ya looking like one of the little rascals. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer I would have liked you, had your coat been shabby I would have liked you, if on your head you wore a tabby I would have liked you if your face, it bore a blemish I would have liked you, if your voice was rather phlegmish I would have liked you if your skin was painted blue I would have liked you anyway, cause I already do. Kethry Sorry couldn't resist"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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John Yaws Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860Texas |
While, in my opinion,you are a master of rhyme (which btw is my favorite type of poetry) I really enjoyed this piece. you are a versatile and exceptionally talented poet. |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Oh gosh OH GOSH, Balladeer, This is beautiful. It's sad and poignant and I thought you might need this (*HUGZ*). Take care Michael (while she brushes that errant hair off her forehead). bye for now Linda Munday. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
May I borrow your mirror sir? Mine seems to be on the fritz cause I felt so handsome this morning when I woke up and then I went to comb my hair and aaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhh.....must have brought my nightmare to the basin with me.  Wonderful read sir. (sitting down for coffee waiting for that beast to leave so I may finish my hair) |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
OHHHHHHHHH my goodness....I think you are adorable no matter what you look like today...and btw so does my mom...lol brought her in here to read once...darn I can't repeat what she said though...she'd wash my mouth out with soap!!! |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is the sweetest verse I've read in a long time. It reminds me of all those times when I just stood in front of the mirror, start to turn to leave and just keep working on my hair. Yes, it is very poignant and tugged at my heartstrings! Kathleen |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Tenderly written...James |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Hey..I like you no matter how your hair falls...and btw...I like your style as well! |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
oh my gosh you have captured this feeling so perfectly...how many of us have stood in front of that same mirror....sigh great writing bal |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
well, to be honest, i would have liked you bald, fat, with a horrible case of acne & bad breath, wearing mismatched clothes so wrinkled it looked like you slept in them.....  but... DAMN!sounds like you were LOOKING GOOD today!!! WOOHOO! ..... send me a photo of that dapper gentleman in the mirror! *wink* good to see you writing some free verse again, Michael.... you are really good at this, y'know? ((hugs)) ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, This goes much deeper then your simple words. Excellent. |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
'Deer - great poem, with lots of longing and regret. I notice that every woman who has responded seems to have done so with a longing sigh. Therefore, since I have no control over my immature jealousies.... You know I love you, Balladeer, No matter how you look today. But as for that perfect haircut, It looks great on your toupe'. You know I love you, Balladeer, And that's why I had to write, I couldn't bear to see you cry, When your toupe' fits too tight. You know I love you, Balladeer, How I wish we were near your home. Our last visit was way too short, Like the hair upon your dome. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
deer- You 've done it beautifully - expressed the insecurities - I believe we all feel - and neatly knitted - into a expression of romantic longing (Obviously it didn't hurt to get all these women falling all over themselves to let you know how much WE ALL appreciate yur poetry  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
May I live in the present and like you now? Always...always...yup! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I really liked this, sir. A departure from your usual style which makes it that much more desirable - as you are. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"I know that, if you were here right now you would like me I just know it please come back" Sigh ... but sweet Michael ... we never left! Beautiful free-verse, such a wonderful display of your versatility to write in many venues, and still touch the heart strings with each word. Beautiful Balladeer! Best wishes, /Kit |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Applauding....oh my friend, free verse suits you well |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Mr. Deer, Mop or just the perfect shine you could be no less than the awesome wonderful you, hugs and squishes coming your way. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
I like this -- even on bad hair days interesting how you explore the depths of a relationship by just glancing at the surface.. and if I could get my yahoo mail to work right you'd have a response from me saying -- absolutely fine by me friend... |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
I love it, I love it, I love it! It's so sad, but I love it anyway. Wonderful writing. |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Balladeer-Would've, could've and DO, like you for who you are and for your extraordinary talent of always writing the most appropriate words. Another fine one here. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Me likes you, "deer one and your wonderful writing and I have since day one!! HUGS!!! Do Take Care!!!!!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
So sad, yet so well written. Wonderfully done poem. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
She should take you any old way, Dear One, whether sweaty and greasy or clean cut and dressed to the nines! I say, her loss! Corinne |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
I would like you in the morning I would like you in the night because you are the poet master. Beautifully written, as always. Thanks for the lift this gave me, and I need a lift today of all days. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I like you just the way you are Don't ever change Love Liz |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Juls |
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ddgoose Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 250Baltimore, MD, USA |
Mr. B. I have read all of the replies so far and everybody just loves you the way you are (me too). Actually, behind it all it is very sensitive. I hope she comes back to you! didi |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Martie...I couldn't ask for anything more. Thank you... BirdeeB...thank you for reading Alicat...praise from one I admire is especially gratifying....I thank you, sir. X Angel...three words worth a fortune. Thank you, Heather serenity...I'm fine...just being my poetic self Thanks for caring....Rosebud....Otay, Buckwheat!!! Kethry...another gold medal for Australia. (phlegmish is a terific word) Gunslinger...praise from you is always taken seriously. I thank you, fellow poet. Linda....Thanks for the hugz! I'm sure your hair looks perfect! Mark...LOL! Looking for the first time in the morning is indeed the moment of truth! I'm sure you have no problem..... BUtterflies....ROFL! Well, thank you and give your mom my thanks, too...and my address! Irish Rose...wonderful to know that I wrote something that's a heartstring tugger..thanks for your wonderful words. jmlee12345...thank you for the recognition. Lorelei...you're a sweetheart (with a bad taste in men )Corazon...from someone whose free verse I worship nightly, I graciously accept your kindness Doreen....you would have liked me even if I looked like LongJohn?? That's heavy! LOL! A picture wouldn't capture it. Ya had to be there... Sy...thank you for recognizing that, my friend....and you know how those good hair days are LJA....jealous jealous jealous!! Just 'cause I still got hair. I sent you that comb for Christmas and now Lorelei says you can't part with it....so sad  Wilfred...Gee, was it obvious?? HeHe..thanks for the kind words from someone who certainly knows how to write of romance... Sunshine....yes....PLEASE!!!!! deVine One...Oh, you wonderful woman!! Thank you... Kit....comments like yours make the ole Balladeer light up like a Christmas tree! Thank you!!! hoot...Darn, I am SO glad to see your name pop up. Thank you and I miss you, old friend Cerenity...the hug is good but the squish is AWESOME!! Thank you!!!!!!!! Rebel...thank you...and it shall be done Tennessee...three "love it"s is high praise indeed. Thank you, angel... Gemini...I REALLY appreciate your wonderful response. Thank you... Justbleu...thank you, Bridgette! You take care, too! Effigy...I'm glad you enjoyed... Corinne...would be great if people did what they should do...sometimes they don't (but I'm glad you feel that way)Marsha...terrific! It's my pleasure to provide the lift. Thank you... Liz...don't worry. Two things will never change....me and the oil in my car!! juliet....my gain is being here with all of you! didi...."she" is just a poetic figment. If I want her to come back, I'll just write her into my next poem!!! Thank you for the compassion... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Damn, you're good, no matter the style!  Denise |
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