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Passions in Poetry

Running on Empty

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Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


0 posted 09-18-2000 08:17 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie


Along the parched road of living
there was a sign that read,
cool mountain stream, first right
at the crossroads.

I had to get out of my reverie
and walk up close to read in small print,
enter at your own risk.

Well, I was torched as you can imagine,
my engine had been running hot
and I could smell the stench
of my own insatiable thirst.

I looked at my gas meter and it read,
running on empty
watch what you do
another dry mile
and you are through.

I knew how to fix that you see,
my reverie was not all I had,
I had a reserve tank of dreaming,
and I had dreamed my way into many a place.

I shifted out of reverie and into dream
and turned right at the crossroads,
and came across some assumptions,
(standing with their hands on hips
in the middle of the road, they were,)
so I closed my eyes and smooth as silk
my dream took me over their stern mouths
and landed me in a meadow,
lupine dotted and poppy spilled.

I could hear the sound of happiness
frolicking in the splash of passion
and I slowed to take a breath
and that was when I saw
my future falling before me,
and turned away.

I gathered my now
around me and fastened it
with the exhale of my intake
and suddenly I was looking out the window
at the middle of the day
and my fingers were like small birds
pecking at the keyboard
and the sound was part of my heart
and I wasn’t thirsty anymore.



In the dew of little things,
the heart finds its morning
and is refreshed.
(ee cummings)
© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell-Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 08-22-99
Posts 23002


1 posted 09-18-2000 08:47 PM       View Profile for Denise   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Denise

Wow! Your cup runneth over, Martie!! This is fantastic! I think I have a new favorite of yours! Wow!

Denise
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 11-06-1999
Posts 43042
Florida's Foreverly Shores


2 posted 09-18-2000 09:00 PM       View Profile for Marge Tindal   Email Marge Tindal   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marge Tindal's Home Page   View IP for Marge Tindal

Martie~
Do I detect a victory here ?

'and suddenly I was looking out the window
at the middle of the day
and my fingers were like small birds
pecking at the keyboard
and the sound was part of my heart
and I wasn’t thirsty anymore.'


How unique .... you're something else, lady !  
No roadblocks gonna stop ya' now !
Love those small birds !
Love you~
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 03-16-2000
Posts 5900
Lansing, MI USA


3 posted 09-18-2000 09:16 PM       View Profile for Lone Wolf   Email Lone Wolf   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lone Wolf

Martie,

This was beautiful and very creative!!  I love the concept of the dream and the description of the vision that unfolds.  Wonderful writing!!  

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats
Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite
since 08-04-2000
Posts 2916
Wilmington, Delaware


4 posted 09-18-2000 09:44 PM       View Profile for Wilfred Yeats   Email Wilfred Yeats   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Wilfred Yeats's Home Page   View IP for Wilfred Yeats

"I shifted out of reverie and into dream"
"my dream took me over their stern mouths"
"at the middle of the day"
"the sound was part of my heart
and I wasn’t thirsty anymore."

So many lovely clever metaphors yet for some reason - these clicked with me more than the rest - absolutely a  first class poem - the best of Martie I've read so far- and that is saying a lot


~You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.

~ Billy Wilder
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


5 posted 09-18-2000 09:56 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Martie, your mind and your pen will never run on empty.....THANK GOD!!!!!!
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


6 posted 09-19-2000 12:33 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Denise--a favorite...thank you so much for saying so.

Marge--small birds can fly over most road blocks, unless of course their computer goes down...thanks sis.

Lone Wolf--thank you so much for liking this and for letting me know.

Bill--I don't know about the best...but I did enjoy writing it...thank you for your always sweet replies.

Balladeer--I sure hope not!!

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 06-21-2000
Posts 7338
In the winds of Cherokee song


7 posted 09-19-2000 11:46 AM       View Profile for Mark Bohannan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark Bohannan

My dear friend you have penned a beauty and I must say once again, I love how your mind works.  Next time I need a fill-up may I pull into your wit and get a full tank of Martie--110 octane please?  Isn't it wonderful to be able to use our imagination and dreams to take us to where ever we would wish to be.(most times anyway).  Loved it and love you my friend.
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 12-21-1999
Posts 5742
Southern Abstentia


8 posted 09-19-2000 12:19 PM       View Profile for Local Rebel   Email Local Rebel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Local Rebel

interesting allegory here martie.... quite an imagination in your brain young lady... nice work..  
brian madden
Member Elite
since 05-06-2000
Posts 4532
ireland


9 posted 09-19-2000 01:59 PM       View Profile for brian madden   Email brian madden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for brian madden

I could hear the sound of happiness
frolicking in the splash of passion
and I slowed to take a breath
and that was when I saw
my future falling before me,
and turned away.

Martie, I think next time I see my future fall I will turn away and head for the place you described, would love to be there right now. The glimpse I saw through your words was beautiful and let my heart rest for a few seconds. Thank you. excellent piece.

The softest thing in the world Will overcome the hardest.Non-being can enter where there is no space". Taoist saying

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


10 posted 09-19-2000 02:01 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Martie, what a picture...lupine dotted and poppy spilled...

and me, from the valley of the poppies...

yep, every word, wonderful!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


11 posted 09-19-2000 02:02 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

martie - you are so inventive and talented!  This poem swept me into the scene so smoothly.  I can still see the crossroads, the meadow, everything.  I can see you there, too.  And yet, there never was a meadow.  Absolutely wonderful.
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


12 posted 09-19-2000 02:15 PM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

My goodness Martie ... your words never cease to amaze me, and I'm sooooo glad of that! What a wonderful read this was ... between reality and dreamscape and back again, with such a positive conclusion. Much enjoyed this Martie!  

Best wishes,
/Kit
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


13 posted 09-19-2000 08:32 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Mark--You can fill up anytime...got lots of friendship to give you...thanks for your loving reply.

Rebel--You made me smile, calling me young lady...I haven't been called that in forever...thanks for enjoying this.

brian--if I helped your heart to rest then writing this was worth while...thank you for letting me know.

Thank you Sunshine--poppies are beautiful, yes.

Long John--there is a meadow...we both saw it, that proves it!!  So glad I took you there.

Kit--thanks so much for you wonderful response...glad you enjoyed the trip!
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


14 posted 06-29-2005 08:33 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

....and it's good to know you understand the depth of this.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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